Reply to Indoor Wedding for 150 People?! Give me a break!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]An invitation is not a summons.

They are not "exposing" anyone. They are holding a legal event and are informing everyone of the circumstances.

Guests are then welcome to make their own choices.

As long as they are gracious when people send regrets, there is no issue here.

Repeat after me, again, some more: An invitation is not a summons.[/quote]

An invitation is an [i]expectation[/i] and they well know it.[/quote]

Maybe in your world. In my world, it is not.

I recently declined the very small group backyard change-of-plans wedding for a close friend and colleague. I sent a gift, and then my regrets. I followed up with a heartfelt email. Both the bride and groom immediately wrote back, said they more than understand, and want to know how much my family's support means to them. When the gift arrived, they sent a lovely thank you card. They know I am eagerly awaiting photos from the day, and they promised to send. It was a nice exchange.

I also recently declined a wedding invite for my cousin who is getting married in a state with very low rates. They are taking lots of precautions, but we would have had to travel. Similar deal--my cousin called and said of course, we know not everyone can make it, we totally understand. I sent a gift, and got a lovely thank you card. Again, promises to send photos. 100% understanding, well-wishing, and grace on both sides.

In my world, we do our best, we extend grace, we make the best choices for ourselves and our family. And we all know it. [/quote]

+1. I've never heard of an invitation meaning an "expectation." [/quote]

Come on. Don't be obtuse. Of course an invitation to a family wedding is an invitation. You have to have a reason not to go - and OP understandably feels that her reason for not going - pandemic! - is going to be seen as judgmental, and will in turn lead to her being judged. That is normal human interaction.

So in fear of being judged, she is judging her family.
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