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[quote=Anonymous]NP here. OP we have the same problem over here, though it's a stepson and he manipulates the use of 2 houses for his benefit. Be happy that isn't the case in your situation - it adds a whole new craptastic dimension to the drama.

We're a few weeks from 17 years old, there is no inclination to getting a job, a driver's license, a car. Nothing. All the things I valued as a teen he doesn't care about. Like you said, our teen goes to bed if he doesn't get his way. And his PSAT scores were so high that Harvard was sending him mail asking him to visit and apply. Then he bombed the SAT while simultaneously pulling that "I don't have to do homework if I can get an A on the test" which he does. But average the homework and attendance with the tests and we've got a 2.0 student going into senior year. A 2.0 student, who I might add, really could have gone to Harvard. He's that smart. And he blew it.

We're beside ourselves now. He schemed to move back to the other parent, thinking a change in high school would wipe his grades. Ha. Hilarious. That 2.0 will follow him like a stalker.

One thing we did find out from his brother - he was being "coached" in his new behavior by his friends. So that was interesting. He's now backed himself into a corner and with 9 months to go before graduation, we're just waiting to see what happens. He doesn't have enough ambition to fill out an application for community college, so we'll see. I have already said he will not be coming to live with us. He kicked us in the teeth after we did everything for him and he told us to eff off and went to live with the other parent.

Please - look at the fact that you don't have a divorce as having a much bigger upper hand than you think you do. I'm not sure how this can get fixed, because we tried therapists, read Oppositional Defiance books, nothing worked. We had to give up, sadly. Please report back![/quote]

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