Reply to How many of you schedule sex with your spouse?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What happens when you schedule it, but then aren’t feeling it? You do it anyways? Seems like a gray area of forcing your spouse, or disappointment when it doesn’t come to fruition.

For a spouse that doesn’t want to have sex, a schedule won’t change the lack of desire.[/quote]

As the lower desire spouse (female), what I think works is letting that person dictate when it happens. I make sure it happens at least once a week but I don’t always have to do it on Wednesday night. Or any night. Could be morning or even afternoon depending on circumstances. Whenever I feel slightly in the mood.[/quote]

Just out of curiosity, once you fulfill your 1, are you ever up for another one in a given week or do you shut It down for the rest of the week?[/quote]

New poster here, we had a schedule of once a week with an understanding that it was shut down the rest of the week.  The schedule lasted a couple years but DH would get upset I wasn't into it even on our scheduled time.  I can't help that I have zero desire.  Like others said, a schedule can make sure it happens but it can't make you want it.[/quote]

I'm not sure most of us who are scheduling it are in the same shoes - it's not that I have zero desire, it's that I'm freaking TIRED (little kids). I am always into it once we start and glad we did it afterwards! [/quote]

Did you even bother to read the OP? OP’s wife lacks desire and his marriage is verging on sexless. He thinks if he says “let’s agree to get down every Friday night,” the marriage and sex situation will magically improve.

Come on. Anyone with common sense realizes it won’t work like that for very long. [b]You’re not addressing the root problem, which is the wife’s lower libido[/b].[/quote]

I beg to differ. Scheduled sex absolutely is 100% addressing the root problem: infrequent sex. You have this completely backwards. Common sense realizes if they DON'T schedule it weekly, this marriage quickly ends in divorce.[/quote]

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