Mondays and Thursdays. Yeah, that's unsexy in one way, because you know it's happening. But sexy in another because you know it's happening.

Schedule fills up quickly between DW and AP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happens when you schedule it, but then aren’t feeling it? You do it anyways? Seems like a gray area of forcing your spouse, or disappointment when it doesn’t come to fruition.

For a spouse that doesn’t want to have sex, a schedule won’t change the lack of desire.

+1

As the lower desire spouse (female), what I think works is letting that person dictate when it happens. I make sure it happens at least once a week but I don’t always have to do it on Wednesday night. Or any night. Could be morning or even afternoon depending on circumstances. Whenever I feel slightly in the mood.

Just out of curiosity, once you fulfill your 1, are you ever up for another one in a given week or do you shut It down for the rest of the week?

New poster here, we had a schedule of once a week with an understanding that it was shut down the rest of the week. The schedule lasted a couple years but DH would get upset I wasn't into it even on our scheduled time. I can't help that I have zero desire. Like others said, a schedule can make sure it happens but it can't make you want it.

I'm not sure most of us who are scheduling it are in the same shoes - it's not that I have zero desire, it's that I'm freaking TIRED (little kids). I am always into it once we start and glad we did it afterwards!

Did you even bother to read the OP? OP’s wife lacks desire and his marriage is verging on sexless. He thinks if he says “let’s agree to get down every Friday night,” the marriage and sex situation will magically improve.

Come on. Anyone with common sense realizes it won’t work like that for very long. You’re not addressing the root problem, which is the wife’s lower libido.

I beg to differ. Scheduled sex absolutely is 100% addressing the root problem: infrequent sex. You have this completely backwards. Common sense realizes if they DON'T schedule it weekly, this marriage quickly ends in divorce.

We've never scheduled it but even though we are older empty nesters we find our way at least once a week. Now with both of us being home teleworking all day every day we have had fun having a couple of afternoon quickies in between meetings. So far no one has noticed my afternoon glow!

We don’t schedule sex but we do schedule alone time which usually ends up with sex being included. We started scheduling alone time because we were investing all of our time with the kids and sex was basically nonexistent. Once we started, and stuck, with alone time to chat, have a glass of wine, and cuddle we started having a lot more sex. We were both in the mood when we got basic and just started talking and laughing together. Worth a try.

DH and I have not had to schedule sex, but more power to those who do and for whom it works!

DH and I have had to meticulously plan out other aspects of our relationship to make sure that both of our needs are met. Sex isn't one, but there are others that are an issue with us, and I think it's excellent when two people can come together and make an agreement on things that are important.

I hope it helps, OP!

^ such an evasion from answering the question
Does this mean she would be surprised?