Reply to If your spouse lost all interest in sex, could you stay married?

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Reply to "If your spouse lost all interest in sex, could you stay married?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I'll explain why this happens with us. DH has never shown any physical affection except as a prelude to sex. So when he approaches with a kiss or a pat on the behind, I know that reciprocating means that he will expect sex to follow. If I don't want to raise false expectations, I have to be indifferent to the casual physical affection. I wish it were different, because I actually love to hold hands, cuddle, etc. But I learned a long time ago that I can't have that all by itself without being considered a tease.[/quote]

OP back again. This is a good insight and pretty helpful to hear. It’s not really the case that I’m only physically affectionate when I want sex, or that I take any affection on her part as a cue for sex...but now that you mention it, I think SHE thinks that’s the way I think, and shies away as a result. That’s pretty straightforward to clear up (I hope), but that’s the easy part of the conversation. [b]I often like to feel physically close without needing or expecting sex. [/b]The part of the conversation about, you know...actually having sex...will be harder. 
[/quote]

If your wife thinks that your affection is always a prelude to asking for sex, then you need to re-examine your own behavior. My husband would say the same thing that you say here, that he likes physical affection without needing or expecting sex. His behavior, however, suggests the opposite. He has never once been affectionate without wanting sex to follow, or at least a boob grab. Never.[/quote]

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