Reply to It’s like I don’t exist other than to hand off DS

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m confused. Do you want to “exist” to her or not? I can’t figure out your end game here. Either it’s too much or it’s not, in which case this shouldn’t bother you so much...but you’re upset that she asks about you and would be upset if she didn’t ask about you. It’s not like if she wanted to be friends you’d go get pedicures and hang out at the mall, right? [/quote]

I think OP doesn’t want to always have her guard up. She doesn’t want to have to feel like she has to be careful answering questions about her plans for next weekend because if she says that she and DS don’t have plans on Saturday, MIL will ask her to spend her day driving for hours to visit her. Maybe OP wants to be able to get a texted picture from her MIL without worrying about alterior motives and guilt trips - especially when she already has a lot on her plate.

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DP. Okay, this sounds crazy to me and confirms what the other PP wrote. What you suggest, which is that MIL magically read DILs mind from far away and only contact DIL in the rare and exact circumstances that DIL feels appropriate in the moment, is really absurd. [/quote]

You’re being intentionally obtuse. In the example OP gave she was having a nice text conversation with MIL —— And the MIL asks for OP to drive for hours to facilitate a visit. The point is, don’t dump on people when they’re going through a difficult time! It sounds like OP is happy to send pictures if DS and maintain contact with MIL, she just doesn’t want her to pile in an already long to-do list.

How is this hard?

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Your example falls into the exact same mind-reading requirement.

I swear some of you must secretly wish the rest of the world were robots you could program so every interaction was precise and exactly predictable.[/quote]

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