Reply to What is your guess on percentage of people who cheat?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The General Social Survey (Univ of Chicago, data since 1970s) has been pretty consistent throughout the decades.  Most recent one: 20 percent of married men and 13 percent of married women admit to cheating.[/quote]

That's about what I was going to guess. Everyone posting 50%+ must work in pretty scummy industries ...? I'm no babe in the woods, but there's no chance over half the people in our UMC mid and late 40s social circle [b]are cheating or have cheated recently[/b]. No chance.[/quote]

I think this is the key difference when we are talking statistics: now/recently cheating, vs "ever in your lifetime".  I think it's totally realistic that 50% have our will cheat at some point in life, but for most people it's a one-time event or a wild phase in their 20s/30s.  At any given snapshot in time, it may only be 10-20%. [/quote]

So even if lifetime risk of cheating is 50%, # of couples affected is less than 50% presumably (some couples where both cheat on each other).  This means there are at least 50% of couples where there's no cheating over a lifetime.  That isn't the story that we hear on this forum and many of the people who post that they have not cheated are discounted.  It's to their benefit to think everyone cheats so that they don't feel as bad about it.  That's not data driven and it's not true.  It's what is beneficial for them to believe.  [/quote]

Stats can be your friend.  If 50% of people cheat, then in 25% of marriages both will have done so, 50% only one person did and 25% neither did.  So therefore only about 1 in 4 marriages remain pure.  I would grant the number of monogamous marriages is probably a bit higher than 25% since like minded people tend to marry.

I really see a lot of naive women on here.  Not to throw all men under the bus but if you get into the inner circle of men, especially attractive men with options, the curtain gets pulled back.  Not all men cheat all the time, but most men do at some point if they can.  Like a PP said above, they can be great family men, charming, charitable, gracious and still think with their little brain at some point over a long marriage.[/quote]

BTW, it's a man's perspective that men who cheat can be otherwise great.  For some women, that may not be the case.

This means that the theory propagated on this forum that men cheat because of lack of sex in marriage is also out the door.

Should we not expect better from men?  [b]Men aren't up to being better?[/b]    [/quote]

Black and white thinking, although I can see from the perspective of the scorned woman that being betrayed trumps all other good qualities.  From MLK to JFK to others the world is filled with powerful men who shaped history for the better of mankind who were also deeply unfaithful.  You can believe that they are all evil or accept that the human sex drive is a super powerful drug, extremely so for many men and people make mistakes.  To err is human, we accept human fragility in every other aspect in life, why not on this?[/quote]

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