Reply to My ILs insist on attending every single school event/extracurricular event

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My grandparents lived next door and it was the most wonderful thing for me growing up. And I loved big birthday gatherings and family get togethers. I get what you are saying OP, but please consider what your kids may want. [/quote]

In that case your grandparents had their own house. Op’s issue is that she basically has houseguests every couple of weeks for a few days at a time.  That would drive most people nuts!![/quote]

I get that, but I think it's time to drop the formalities and[b] treat them as family and not houseguests. If they are visiting every 2-3 weeks then they need to fend for themselves and be put to work.[/b] This might also open up a line of communication and allow OP to be more direct with them. Seems like they are retired, maybe they can move a little closer.[/quote]

OP has a say (even veto power!) in whether she effectively lives with her in-laws.  Their wishes don’t trump hers.[/quote]

Of course she does. All I am saying is that while this is a problem for her, rightfully so, [b]this kind of close relationship may be very beneficial to her kids and husband. I am not sure she fully appreciates the latter,[/b] but I could be wrong.[/quote]

This is mean. OP is human and needs a break. It’s hard enough doing the evening rush after work to get dinner and kids ready for bed without constantly hosting houseguests. That’s nuts! The suggestions that OP actually leave her home to get a break are obnoxious too. Her ILs don’t get to take over her life and kick her out of her own house.

Lots of posters keep focusing on how important the grandparent relay is, well, you know what else is really important? The parent child relationship. If the parents are constantly stressed and hosting grandparents, the parental relationship never grows and develops. It was in quiet moments that my children came to me with problems or for heart to hearts. If you’re always prioritizing grandparent fun, you’re sacrificing those opportunities with your children and that’s sad.

There has to be a balance. Once a month overnight visits is plenty.

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