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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The only thing I can compare this to is when I was about 12 and we took my uncle to the ER for severe pain in his feet. Turned out he had shingles, which is known to be a horrible level of pain. My uncle has intellectual disabilities and cried from the pain. A man in a wheelchair came over and started to lecture my uncle that he should be grateful to even have feet. My Mom has gone to the bathroom and I was just 12 so I didn’t know what to do, but a woman told the man in the wheelchair that he didn’t get to complain about the absence of something that was causing someone else pain. I’ve remembered that my whole life. Just because you have a different pain doesn’t mean their pain isn’t real. I doubt you never ever found your parents frustrating when they were alive. [/quote]

PP, you have completely missed OP’s point.

Her/his point is that no matter how annoying your family is, one day they will be gone and you will miss them. So instead of constantly complaining about them, try to overlook their faults and enjoy them while you still can.[/quote]

I wonder about this sometimes.  I haven't seen my criminally abusive father in almost 25 years.  How will I feel when he dies?

My mildly abusive bipolar mother, on the other hand... I work hard to keep the relationship minimally intact so I don't feel guilty if she gets ill or when she someday dies.  I'm not sure if I'll miss her or not, but I certainly am not going to overlook her faults and enjoy her while I can.  Being around her makes me a worse parent and a general basket case.  I'm going to continue to keep my distance for my own health and sanity.

But most importantly, I agree with all the others that big problems don't need to invalidate small problems.  We are all living our lives and trying to rise to the challenges with which we're presented.   It's OK to acknowledge small or petty annoyances, and to feel the feelings we actually have about the people in our lives.  
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