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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

We just made really different choices when our kids were young, including living in a much lower COL area.

Grandpa watched them while DH worked from home until they were 2. Then into morning preschool, extended into afternoon preschool at 3. Grandpa watched them from 3 to 6. I worked an intense full time job.

From around the time they were 3 to kindergarten age, DH had the big full time job and I stayed home and freelanced.

When they hit kindergarten, I went back to work part-time, nights.

At middle school, I went part time, days.

We didn't have kids until our late 30s so this was a big-picture plan.
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So you never had two working parents? Yeah that seems to be a popular option. But necessitates a career that allows you to work in a low COL area with good schools.  We would happily go part time but neither of our jobs allows it. [/quote]

We never had two parents working full time outside of the home, yes.

Once kids were born, one stepped back and worked part time from home. We have traded that role, though, back and forth.

OP seems boxed in. Expensive city, bad neighborhood, no good school transportation, grueling schedules.

Every job and home we picked allowed breathing room.

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