Reply to paying for "extras" on top of child support

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is pretty annoying that step-parents get such a bad rap.  We're usually the only people who were not responsible for the demise of the child's family, and yet we get blamed so easily for pretty much everything.  And then we're expected to defer on all points to [b]the child's parents, regardless of how their decisions impact our nuclear families.  And this from the parents who couldn't even manage to keep their family and marriage intact.  A bit like letting the patients run the asylum.[/b]  [/quote]

And yet, you married one of them.[/quote]

PP here.  I did marry a divorced man with children.  We were very clear with each other that our marriage would be as important as his relationship with his kids from a prior marriage, and as important as our relationship with the children we would have (and now do have) with each other.  In our view, the adults' marriage is the central relationship in a family, and the relationships with children grow from, and model, that core.  We are happily married, and have strong relationships with all of our kids, including his kids from a prior marriage.  Everything that he does for/with his kids is a subject of marital conversation the same way it is for the kids we have together.   Small things we don't touch base about, large things we do.  We touch base about any unexpected expense over a few hundred dollars (around $400-$500), whether it's about his kids, our kids, or our own personal spending.  It is our marital property being spent, so why wouldn't we?  He'd never, ever, pull the crap that many PPS seems to suggest, that somehow my views are less important than his, or that it is less "my business" than his, about how we spend our marital property.  Everyone make mistakes, but his failed married is not something he or his ex are proud of, and it's certainly not something that they can point to as an example of good parenting.  Luckily, they don't, because it wouldn't get them for with me or with her new husband.    [/quote]

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