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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is how affairs start. Demand he end it now and get to therapy. [/quote]

OP here- some say this and some say lay low or he’ll get even more secretive.  Can’t decide what to do. [/quote]

Those of us who have BTDT pretty unanimously advise lay low and gather information. Here's the thing: those with nothing to hide, hide nothing. Your DH is hiding this from you. Big red flag. You feel he is being distant. Big red flag. Your gut is telling you something, and you need to listen to your gut.

A PI isn't a bad idea, if you can afford it.[/quote]

I agree with you but the we who BTDT, can we agree that waiting until cheating occurs is MUCH worse than stopping it before an affair actually starts to happen? Forgiveness, if there is really such a thing for affairs, is easier to do when you have not been hurt so deeply. So that’s what I think OP is struggling with. And rightfully so. But I truly think it depends on your relationship now and how well you communicate. If it’s down in the dumps, it may be tough to have an honest conversation and he may take his ‘work wife’ relationship more underground if there’s really something to hide. If communication is where it should be in your marriage, hopefully your concerns will be heard and understood and he stops hiding his relationship with this woman from you. [/quote]

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