Reply to “You love them more than me now.” PPD in men.

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Reply to "“You love them more than me now.” PPD in men."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again.

I was not sure on the science behind PPD and men.  I’ve read a few studies stating that some men have changed in hormones to reflect their partners during pregnancy and can have PPD.  It may be BS.  So let’s just say DH has a long history of depression and mental illness and that the birth of our twins seems to have created a downward spiral for him.  Maybe not PPD but a depressive episode triggered by adjusting to life with newborn twins.

No, the silent treatment is not normal for him.  I don’t consider him selfish or a “man baby”.   I consider him highly sensitive and that’s one of the reasons I love him.  I know that I’m the stronger of the two of us emotionally and for our relationship I’m usually the one he can rely on but he has supported me emotionally, mentally etc plenty of times.

He’s in a bad headspace and I wish I could help but I’m truly so exhausted I can barely function and unfortunately at the moment I cannot be his support system.  I was looking for advice on anyone who has had a spouse in the same place and what seemed to help.  Thank you to the users who mentioned going ahead and getting a nanny now.  I’m also trying to find a parental support group for new fathers.  I think talking to other men in similar situations will help. [/quote]

I have been in your situation and you are being abused by your husband right now you are in the #2 of the abuse cycle.

Just because he has depression means it is okay for him to abuse you. It might be his excuse or point to what needs to change but it's not okay.

You can't support somebody out of depression and allowing his abuse is enabling it.

He needs to talk to his therapist and you need to stand up for yourself when he makes unreasonable requests. It's okay if that upsets him, it's up to him to work that out with his therapist.

Does this cycle seem familiar... if not yet, watch out for it. The cycle may be weekly/monthly/yearly... every abuser is different. The longer 3 and 4 last and when 1 and 2 are short, women explain it away as a normal cycle, but it's not.

[img]https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e4/Cycle_of_Abuse.png[/img][/quote]

FFS her husband isn't abusing her! What is wrong with you? [/quote]

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