Reply to “You love them more than me now.” PPD in men.

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Reply to "“You love them more than me now.” PPD in men."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again.

I was not sure on the science behind PPD and men.  I’ve read a few studies stating that some men have changed in hormones to reflect their partners during pregnancy and can have PPD.  It may be BS.  So let’s just say DH has a long history of depression and mental illness and that the birth of our twins seems to have created a downward spiral for him.  Maybe not PPD but a depressive episode triggered by adjusting to life with newborn twins.

No, the silent treatment is not normal for him.  I don’t consider him selfish or a “man baby”.   I consider him highly sensitive and that’s one of the reasons I love him.  I know that I’m the stronger of the two of us emotionally and for our relationship I’m usually the one he can rely on but he has supported me emotionally, mentally etc plenty of times.

He’s in a bad headspace and I wish I could help but I’m truly so exhausted I can barely function and unfortunately at the moment I cannot be his support system.  I was looking for advice on anyone who has had a spouse in the same place and what seemed to help.  Thank you to the users who mentioned going ahead and getting a nanny now.  I’m also trying to find a parental support group for new fathers.  I think talking to other men in similar situations will help. [/quote]

100% it will. I would connect him with my own DH, but our kids are older and I suspect both of us have wiped much of those early days from our memories.

Ignore the people beating up on DH. It's not helpful. It is what it is, regardless of what he "should" be doing. There's a reason the divorce rate with multiples is higher than singletons - the amount of strain put on a couple with two (or more) infants is exponential (and I've done both.) Its in everyone's best interest that you both find a way through these months.

When my kids were that age I thought I was drowning. There were days I really wasn't sure how I was going to make it through. But you do, and all of a sudden in a few weeks and then months you look back and are amazed that you did it, because things are so much easier. There is a (very gradual) light at the end of the tunnel.

PS- get a nanny with twin experience. She will teach you tricks you never thought possible.

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