Reply to “You love them more than me now.” PPD in men.

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Reply to "“You love them more than me now.” PPD in men."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again.

I was not sure on the science behind PPD and men.  I’ve read a few studies stating that some men have changed in hormones to reflect their partners during pregnancy and can have PPD.  It may be BS.  So let’s just say DH has a long history of depression and mental illness and that the birth of our twins seems to have created a downward spiral for him.  Maybe not PPD but a depressive episode triggered by adjusting to life with newborn twins.

No, the silent treatment is not normal for him.  I don’t consider him selfish or a “man baby”.   I consider him highly sensitive and that’s one of the reasons I love him.  I know that I’m the stronger of the two of us emotionally and for our relationship I’m usually the one he can rely on but he has supported me emotionally, mentally etc plenty of times.

He’s in a bad headspace and I wish I could help but I’m truly so exhausted I can barely function and unfortunately at the moment I cannot be his support system.  I was looking for advice on anyone who has had a spouse in the same place and what seemed to help.  Thank you to the users who mentioned going ahead and getting a nanny now.  I’m also trying to find a parental support group for new fathers.  I think talking to other men in similar situations will help. [/quote]

OP totally agree he should see a psychiatrist and consider getting on meds. Kudos to you for worrying about this when dealing with new twins, that is seriously intense. Totally agree getting a nanny in could help tremendously.

Our nanny has a thing built into her contract where every other week we have a date night. No extra for the babysitting, we can go out and have one or two or four hours just to ourselves (for us this works because it has all evened out with sick days or weeks we don't go out). This was one of the best decisions I ever made about kids!

I personally need time to recharge and by 7 weeks had gone out without both of my kids. It is normal to NOT want to get a break and it is normal to want one. But maybe look into something like that if you feel like you guys would benefit from periodic structured one on one time.

Good luck, you guys seem like a loving couple, willing to express yourself and willing to push yourself to be a support. Don't let anyone here make you feel bad about that. And I am NOT a traditionalist conservative bow to my husband kind of person, just a care about the people I love and think everyone deserves respect and love person.

You're only 8 weeks in, it does get better. And you guys are solid enough that you're communicating and looking out for each other. I'm sure you'll be fine.[/quote]

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