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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. I’ve made a million mistakes. We talk a lot about my biggest foibles at home. Lots of laughter.. I tell them to never be scared of failing, biggest lessons learned in life.

What I’m looking for is someone out there with a kid with big dreams, you have realism, not squashing those dreams. Because, I just totally squashed my kid the other day.[/quote]

OP, I get you.  That said, it doesn't mean I agree with you.  I get it when kids have big dreams, but sometimes have a lapse of judgment and mess up.  From your POV, some things cost more than others and you saw this one test as really "messing" things up for her for the quarter, and she would have to work a lot harder just to go back to where she wanted to be.

I don't know if you're from this area, so do not know if your school has a "portal".  Even if your school has a portal, I get that the portal just tells the student their current grade and not what grade they need to get in order to push the quarter average back up to an "A".  So I get why an excel spreadsheet is useful to help with grade trajectory.  I get it, and I actually don't think it's insane.  In college, I kept an excel spreadsheet to know how "hard" or "relax" I can be won my final.

I think that if you have a child who is motivated, she will learn to self-correct, especially on 9th grade.  You need to understand that if your daughter is an overachiever, the 84% hurts her more than it hurts you.  If she knows why she made the mistakes, that is more important than the grade itself.  Your reaction was likely inappropriate and was more discouraging than encouraging.  What you need to do:

1.  APOLOGIZE to her, for your focus on results, and not methodology.
2.  Ask her if she needs your help, and if she says no, then back off.

If she continues to be sloppy with her work, focus on how to help her with the sloppiness.  Work with her on strategies.  Do not focus on "colleges" or "grades", as these are results.  If you get the methodology correct, the rewards will eventually come.  Not all kids do well in high school.  Not all kids do well in college.  It doesn't mean they don't do well in life, nor does it mean they cannot have a successful career.

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