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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not a troll. Please tell me where I went wrong mothering. Please also explain the appropriate age to tell your kids life isn’t rainbows and unicorns.

You might want to be the next Olympic snowboarder, but you aren’t going to there despite the private trainers.

Seriously -  no other parents deal with this? Dreams vs. Reality???

I need a solid tonight. [/quote]

I'm really trying to figure you out OP at 4 30 am and you're fascinating me. Some of your catch phrases lead me to believe that you're just trying too hard to sound woke. "I need a solid tonight"? You keep referring to your daughter's dream. Ok, maybe it's true that her dream is an Ivy (5%). But, I think this is your dream and you've managed to project this onto her likely from middle school. Your past transgressions, 2.9 gpa in college have led you to live vicariously through your DDs accomplishments.

Look, I get it. My DS is a junior and we're in the thick of it. He actually did/does have a dream school and we've watched acceptance rate drop to 20% in less than 4 years. He had a tough sophomore year, doubling up in advanced math classes. I advised him to withdraw from one. He was emphatic and pushed through it and wound up with an 80 gpa in the course. His choice. This year he is calmly killing it. But, to his credit he has built a solid mix of leadership, one varsity sport for 4 years, 200+ service hours devoted to one local charity for 6 years and is now a chair on committee, is Vice chair of HS Business dept, a paid internship 2x week with a start up that is relevant to his major/minor plus other unique talent. Will he have perfect stats? Probably not, but they'll be solid plus he has drive and ambition and is a chill kid that knows what he wants. I still remind him how important this year is when he gets caught up on projects for his new job. The owners are incredible and have guaranteed that he will always have a job with them now and later. They support his idea for an app he created and want to partner in the endeavor. I never would have expected this last year at this time.

Things change and if you allow your DD some slack and let her lead and connect with different mentors, she'll thrive. As others say here, even with perfect stats, 5% acceptance is daunting. Let her build the other traits that colleges want to see that have nothing to do with GPA/scores. If you're not guiding her in this area then she'll be another kid with manufactured grades and scores vying for a selective Ivy. What will make her stand out? What is her passion? Guide her to focus on that. She's only a freshman and can build a great resume with outside interests. Don't try to fit the mold because it's not going to work. Too many of the same competing. An 84 is a drop in the bucket, it means nothing! Real people are not perfect stats. Schools see right through this. Be her partner in this journey to avoid creating a rigid adult that is risk adverse. Burn out is real and life is long. Help her look forward to finding what her passion is, with or without her dream school. Best of luck to your DD! [/quote]

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