Reply to Told brother I don't want to meet OW

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, my family pulled this crap on my brother when he left his marriage and wanted to bring the OW around, [b]instead of thinking about our relationship with him, we let our SIL call the shots on our relationship.[/b]  End result, he married the OW (eloped) with none of us going to the wedding and they have now been married 22 years with three children. We have never met his children from this relationship and I only know what I know about my brother from second hand talk or social media.  I wish I had put my relationship with my brother first, I've missed so much and he will not talk to any of us.  Think about your brother.[/quote]

This was your mistake.

OPs SIL is not telling her what to do. OP is the one who feels uncomfortable meeting her brother’s affair partner. Rightfully so! Setting a boundary that you don’t agree with adultery and you want to wait until he is divorced to meet her is just basic decency. Just because the brother has none doesn’t mean OP has to sacrifice her morals for the sake of the relationship. “I will meet her after you are divorced.” Is a perfectly reasonable response. If he ends the relationship over that, that’s on him and it’s indicative of his recent self destructive behavior. Keep the door open, but you don’t drag yourself through the gutter to keep him company. [/quote]

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