Reply to Told brother I don't want to meet OW

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, my family pulled this crap on my brother when he left his marriage and wanted to bring the OW around, instead of thinking about our relationship with him, we let our SIL call the shots on our relationship.  End result, he married the OW (eloped) with none of us going to the wedding and they have now been married 22 years with three children. We have never met his children from this relationship and I only know what I know about my brother from second hand talk or social media.  I wish I had put my relationship with my brother first, I've missed so much and he will not talk to any of us.  Think about your brother.[/quote]

Curious if he was present with his kids from the first marriage and how that went.[/quote]

Yes, he was, but the divorce was pretty bad as divorces go so custody was ran through the courts and a moderator of sorts.  Basically he and SIL refused to speak with each other so the kids were exchanged week with him, week with her, just awful.  Anyway, we were very involved in the kids lives (bds, etc) but we never saw him just invites from SIL.  So when they were with her we would see them if there was an occasion and of course some sleepovers and amusement park trips.  But never once did I ask his kids about him, did not want to do that to them.  From what I saw/know he was there and present, paid his child support and covered their college even though SIL is remarried.  Just a bad situation all around.  If I learned one thing it's that my SIL was entirely innocent in the process of their marriage falling apart.  It does take two, it's true, to make or break a marriage.  Anyway, we chose to stay friends with SIL to have access to the kids.  In the end she is not someone I would be friends with, but she is a good mother to my nephew and nieces.  I would have sucked it up if I had it to do over again and let him bring the OW to my home and I would have put my foot up my mother's .... to make her see losing her son just wasn't worth it.  Life lessons :([/quote]

Was your brother not understanding that he was the one who left his marriage and tried to force the OW on you without giving you time and also navigating the situation with his kids?[/quote]

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