Reply to I am a NOVA Soccer Coach. AMA

Forum Index » Soccer

Reply to "I am a NOVA Soccer Coach. AMA"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This thread started out on a bad foot, but since then you have actually given some very good answers. Thanks. It can be so hard for parents even when they mean well the make good choices for the kids when the system is really not set up with the kids in mind so good advice from someone with experience can be very helpful.[/quote]

Yes, it is helpful to have a professional see that we, as parents, are not entirely crazy. Or that we are crazy, but not for the reason coaches claim.

I look back and realize that I would have never let a teacher, or a scout leader, or any other adult treat my child, or any other child, in the manner I've allowed in soccer.  And we PAID for the privilege.  And truth be told some of it was vanity and prioritizing adult relationships, not the best interest of the kids. I kept thinking that kids need to be tough, resilient, pick themselves up when they are knocked down, etc. But there is a line between disappointment, as in "I'm sorry, your ability to win 1 v. 1s just isn't where it needs to be right now to play on this top team by I've talked to B team coach and he's going to work with you on this next year" and keeping them in an environment that is so arbitrary, uncoordinated, political, and unmotivating that all but the strongest wind up wanting to walk away. The impact of treating young athletes this way extends way beyond sports into other areas of life.

A while back, there was a long thread about how club soccer is a year to year proposition and one persistent poster kept saying that if your soft kid can't take it, go play rec. Why does that have to be? Why should time consuming youth activities  be set up to be strictly year to year (or even season to season propositions), with little caring or committment beyond that, or frankly, even during that year?  It's like what if we moved kids randomly to different schools each year and then blamed them for not making friends quickly or having trouble adapting academically after the move.  Oh, and each school gets to pick a handful of favorites who stay at the same school  to receive small group instruction, and to serve as examples to the transient kids how much better they could be if they just worked harder and learned how to adapt. Post on social media about the incredible academic accomplishment of these star students. Send them around the country for enriching experiences.  Invite others to come to your school, so that they too, can achieve like the superstars. Meanwhile, one inexperienced teacher is assigned to go through the motions of teacher the large pool of transients about whom they have no information.  Complain?  Why?  Your struggling kid is obviously stupid and lazy and nothing I, as a teacher, can do will make him better.  He needs to figure it out or find a new school. Seriously, why can't he figure it out?  Do you not see how well our top students are doing? Follow us on Instagram.  If the kid is struggling at any point in the school year, or even has a few bad days in a row, the school can bring in a bigger and better student from a different school and shift your kid into the loser pool somewhere else. Should have worked harder and grown more this year son!  And parents, seriously. Adjust your expectations.  Your child is obviously not the next Einstein, so there is no reason for us to help him meet academic expectations. Get real. He would be on Instagram too if he had what it takes. It's all about effort, you know.

That's what the system feels like to me.  It works great for the stars, and maybe the most naturally gifted and mentally tough. But not every team should be run like the highest level DA or ECNL.  Travel soccer clubs have teams with all types of kids.  How will these kids be confident enough to try and fail when there's no stability or adults that care about them?  There is little incentive to be the best they can be (which, gasp, might not be THE best), because the favorite slots are limited.  And if you aren't THE BEST, you don't matter.  Why try?

And on and on it goes. Obviously I'm being dramatic, but it is not far from the truth.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics