Anonymous wrote:

NOVASoccerCoach wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for starting this thread, Coach!

I think you answered my question in your earlier comments, but I want to get your thoughts. I'm a parent of an undersized, technical U14 boy who has played for higher level EDP club that has increasingly bloated rosters. Although my son has been fortunate to be picked to be on the rosters, he comes in off the bench and does not always get that much playing time. Some boys on the team do not get selected for game day rosters at all. Worse still, the club will have its top players from a younger age group play up, so that in a weekend, these boys play for their own team and then start for the older age group as well, while other players get limited playing time or don't even make the roster at all. I can understand if this is a DA club, but it isn't.

The training is good, and the coaches tell parents that training, which includes scrimmages, is more important that playing time in actual games. Do you agree with this? It seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy that the "better" kids keep getting better, and the mid-tier kids fall farther behind when they don't play. For smaller kids who have yet to hit their growth spurts, can team training advance development if there is little playing time in games? In retrospect, I wish he had moved on a year ago because he's so afraid of making mistakes and getting benched that he looks like he isn't playing hard.

Nah, that's bullshit and I hate that type of crap clubs try to pull. Scrimmages are great but nothing replicates the actual game environment against opposition where both teams know the game matters more than a scrimmage. I don't want to know what club this is because it's awful that some kids don't even get selected for a game day roster.....this is youth soccer! If this was at the DA or ECNL level I could understand, but as you said it's not. Also the fact that they are playing their youngers getting more game time than the players that are actually in that age group is terrible. I'd leave that club ASAP and find a club to get your kid some playing time come game day.

For players to get better they need to be playing in training, learning from training then practicing what they learned in the game environment. Get your kid out of that club asap. What a shitshow of a club. Apologies for my language as your account of what that club does really pissed me off and is what's wrong with soccer in this area.

Edit: Didn't even read your last comment. If your player is afraid of making mistakes at U14 because he thinks it may get him benched, get him out of that club. Players need to make mistakes to learn, it's the only way and if that is going to jeopardize playing time at U14, that is utterly ridiculous.

Thanks for your honesty. Truth is, most clubs in the DMV value winning above all else. Actually, my son's story is a good one if you ever get to share it to fight for a healthier system. I misstated his age. He's actually a small U15.

We probably won't have to find another club because he wants to quit soccer entirely, even though he's having fun now playing for his school's varsity team. And it sucks, because he's good and he loved it for so long. All of the adult bullshit, club politics, and downright abusive behavior on the part of coaches suffocated his love for the game. And he was one of the kids who got on the rosters and in the games. It should also be a message to parents - when you see coaches and clubs treating OTHER kids like crap, move on, because sooner or later, it might be your kid on the receiving end.

Hate to see it, that sucks. But major bright side is that your kid is going to have a blast playing HS Varsity. HS Soccer is for the most part always a memorable experience. It's one of those things you look back when you're older and it's always you're glad you played HS Soccer, no matter if your HS team sucked or was good. Anyways, I really do feel bad for you all. That sucks but I'm glad your kid is still playing soccer and involved with HS.

This is what a snowflake sounds like.

Joking

Solid post. +100

Anonymous wrote:This thread started out on a bad foot, but since then you have actually given some very good answers. Thanks. It can be so hard for parents even when they mean well the make good choices for the kids when the system is really not set up with the kids in mind so good advice from someone with experience can be very helpful.

Yes, it is helpful to have a professional see that we, as parents, are not entirely crazy. Or that we are crazy, but not for the reason coaches claim.

I look back and realize that I would have never let a teacher, or a scout leader, or any other adult treat my child, or any other child, in the manner I've allowed in soccer. And we PAID for the privilege. And truth be told some of it was vanity and prioritizing adult relationships, not the best interest of the kids. I kept thinking that kids need to be tough, resilient, pick themselves up when they are knocked down, etc. But there is a line between disappointment, as in "I'm sorry, your ability to win 1 v. 1s just isn't where it needs to be right now to play on this top team by I've talked to B team coach and he's going to work with you on this next year" and keeping them in an environment that is so arbitrary, uncoordinated, political, and unmotivating that all but the strongest wind up wanting to walk away. The impact of treating young athletes this way extends way beyond sports into other areas of life.

A while back, there was a long thread about how club soccer is a year to year proposition and one persistent poster kept saying that if your soft kid can't take it, go play rec. Why does that have to be? Why should time consuming youth activities be set up to be strictly year to year (or even season to season propositions), with little caring or committment beyond that, or frankly, even during that year? It's like what if we moved kids randomly to different schools each year and then blamed them for not making friends quickly or having trouble adapting academically after the move. Oh, and each school gets to pick a handful of favorites who stay at the same school to receive small group instruction, and to serve as examples to the transient kids how much better they could be if they just worked harder and learned how to adapt. Post on social media about the incredible academic accomplishment of these star students. Send them around the country for enriching experiences. Invite others to come to your school, so that they too, can achieve like the superstars. Meanwhile, one inexperienced teacher is assigned to go through the motions of teacher the large pool of transients about whom they have no information. Complain? Why? Your struggling kid is obviously stupid and lazy and nothing I, as a teacher, can do will make him better. He needs to figure it out or find a new school. Seriously, why can't he figure it out? Do you not see how well our top students are doing? Follow us on Instagram. If the kid is struggling at any point in the school year, or even has a few bad days in a row, the school can bring in a bigger and better student from a different school and shift your kid into the loser pool somewhere else. Should have worked harder and grown more this year son! And parents, seriously. Adjust your expectations. Your child is obviously not the next Einstein, so there is no reason for us to help him meet academic expectations. Get real. He would be on Instagram too if he had what it takes. It's all about effort, you know.

That's what the system feels like to me. It works great for the stars, and maybe the most naturally gifted and mentally tough. But not every team should be run like the highest level DA or ECNL. Travel soccer clubs have teams with all types of kids. How will these kids be confident enough to try and fail when there's no stability or adults that care about them? There is little incentive to be the best they can be (which, gasp, might not be THE best), because the favorite slots are limited. And if you aren't THE BEST, you don't matter. Why try?

And on and on it goes. Obviously I'm being dramatic, but it is not far from the truth.

This thread started out on a bad foot, but since then you have actually given some very good answers. Thanks. It can be so hard for parents even when they mean well the make good choices for the kids when the system is really not set up with the kids in mind so good advice from someone with experience can be very helpful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for starting this thread, Coach!

I think you answered my question in your earlier comments, but I want to get your thoughts. I'm a parent of an undersized, technical U14 boy who has played for higher level EDP club that has increasingly bloated rosters. Although my son has been fortunate to be picked to be on the rosters, he comes in off the bench and does not always get that much playing time. Some boys on the team do not get selected for game day rosters at all. Worse still, the club will have its top players from a younger age group play up, so that in a weekend, these boys play for their own team and then start for the older age group as well, while other players get limited playing time or don't even make the roster at all. I can understand if this is a DA club, but it isn't.

The training is good, and the coaches tell parents that training, which includes scrimmages, is more important that playing time in actual games. Do you agree with this? It seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy that the "better" kids keep getting better, and the mid-tier kids fall farther behind when they don't play. For smaller kids who have yet to hit their growth spurts, can team training advance development if there is little playing time in games? In retrospect, I wish he had moved on a year ago because he's so afraid of making mistakes and getting benched that he looks like he isn't playing hard.

We are in a similar situation with a club. The coach is keeping the lower age side together "as a team" and my kid is forced to play out of position and only as a sub rather than compete in position (and frankly, beat out) the kid who is lower aged but part of that team.

I'd like to say this has been a one-off experience, but in my travels with a few different teams I've seen and heard similar "off field" reasons keeping players together and others on the bench. Truly sad to see and kids are quitting the game just when they should be coming into it with strength and size.

What winds up happening is that if a parent says anything, the coach responds by saying that your kid isn't that talented, or not working that hard, or has a bad attitude or something like that. It is always the kid's fault. It has happened to at least 5 boys who have played with my son. Don't like it? We will release your kid (after you pay), because he basically sucks anyway. No one questions the idea that whoever is best right now (or perceived as best) should get additional opportunities to the detriment of the bottom half of the roster who languish on the bench (or in the stands). And why should they? Because if you think the club culture isn't healthy, there's always another player willing to take the place of your untalented, lazy, bad attitude bench riding kid who attends every practice and plays hard in his rare playing opportunities. Until their parents figure it out.

Ditto to everything on this thread. It’s the coaches that ruin the game for the kids. Coaching is a platform to help kids develop and perform to the best of their abilities and put the needs of the kids first. In our many years of travel soccer, it’s club first mentality. Win win win! It’s the same on lower teams.

It’s sad. Do coaches understand or care about the power they have on our youth today? Are coaches put in stressful situations where they must produce winning teams at any cost ?

How about working a little harder by connecting with each player ? Maybe understand what motivates them to achieve goals? That would make too much sense and it’s too much work. Let’s recruit and see what the next toy can give you and displace the others . It’s something clubs can do when there’s kids waiting to take our spot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for starting this thread, Coach!

I think you answered my question in your earlier comments, but I want to get your thoughts. I'm a parent of an undersized, technical U14 boy who has played for higher level EDP club that has increasingly bloated rosters. Although my son has been fortunate to be picked to be on the rosters, he comes in off the bench and does not always get that much playing time. Some boys on the team do not get selected for game day rosters at all. Worse still, the club will have its top players from a younger age group play up, so that in a weekend, these boys play for their own team and then start for the older age group as well, while other players get limited playing time or don't even make the roster at all. I can understand if this is a DA club, but it isn't.

The training is good, and the coaches tell parents that training, which includes scrimmages, is more important that playing time in actual games. Do you agree with this? It seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy that the "better" kids keep getting better, and the mid-tier kids fall farther behind when they don't play. For smaller kids who have yet to hit their growth spurts, can team training advance development if there is little playing time in games? In retrospect, I wish he had moved on a year ago because he's so afraid of making mistakes and getting benched that he looks like he isn't playing hard.

We are in a similar situation with a club. The coach is keeping the lower age side together "as a team" and my kid is forced to play out of position and only as a sub rather than compete in position (and frankly, beat out) the kid who is lower aged but part of that team.

I'd like to say this has been a one-off experience, but in my travels with a few different teams I've seen and heard similar "off field" reasons keeping players together and others on the bench. Truly sad to see and kids are quitting the game just when they should be coming into it with strength and size.

What winds up happening is that if a parent says anything, the coach responds by saying that your kid isn't that talented, or not working that hard, or has a bad attitude or something like that. It is always the kid's fault. It has happened to at least 5 boys who have played with my son. Don't like it? We will release your kid (after you pay), because he basically sucks anyway. No one questions the idea that whoever is best right now (or perceived as best) should get additional opportunities to the detriment of the bottom half of the roster who languish on the bench (or in the stands). And why should they? Because if you think the club culture isn't healthy, there's always another player willing to take the place of your untalented, lazy, bad attitude bench riding kid who attends every practice and plays hard in his rare playing opportunities. Until their parents figure it out.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for starting this thread, Coach!

I think you answered my question in your earlier comments, but I want to get your thoughts. I'm a parent of an undersized, technical U14 boy who has played for higher level EDP club that has increasingly bloated rosters. Although my son has been fortunate to be picked to be on the rosters, he comes in off the bench and does not always get that much playing time. Some boys on the team do not get selected for game day rosters at all. Worse still, the club will have its top players from a younger age group play up, so that in a weekend, these boys play for their own team and then start for the older age group as well, while other players get limited playing time or don't even make the roster at all. I can understand if this is a DA club, but it isn't.

The training is good, and the coaches tell parents that training, which includes scrimmages, is more important that playing time in actual games. Do you agree with this? It seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy that the "better" kids keep getting better, and the mid-tier kids fall farther behind when they don't play. For smaller kids who have yet to hit their growth spurts, can team training advance development if there is little playing time in games? In retrospect, I wish he had moved on a year ago because he's so afraid of making mistakes and getting benched that he looks like he isn't playing hard.

We are in a similar situation with a club. The coach is keeping the lower age side together "as a team" and my kid is forced to play out of position and only as a sub rather than compete in position (and frankly, beat out) the kid who is lower aged but part of that team.

I'd like to say this has been a one-off experience, but in my travels with a few different teams I've seen and heard similar "off field" reasons keeping players together and others on the bench. Truly sad to see and kids are quitting the game just when they should be coming into it with strength and size.

NOVASoccerCoach wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for starting this thread, Coach!

I think you answered my question in your earlier comments, but I want to get your thoughts. I'm a parent of an undersized, technical U14 boy who has played for higher level EDP club that has increasingly bloated rosters. Although my son has been fortunate to be picked to be on the rosters, he comes in off the bench and does not always get that much playing time. Some boys on the team do not get selected for game day rosters at all. Worse still, the club will have its top players from a younger age group play up, so that in a weekend, these boys play for their own team and then start for the older age group as well, while other players get limited playing time or don't even make the roster at all. I can understand if this is a DA club, but it isn't.

The training is good, and the coaches tell parents that training, which includes scrimmages, is more important that playing time in actual games. Do you agree with this? It seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy that the "better" kids keep getting better, and the mid-tier kids fall farther behind when they don't play. For smaller kids who have yet to hit their growth spurts, can team training advance development if there is little playing time in games? In retrospect, I wish he had moved on a year ago because he's so afraid of making mistakes and getting benched that he looks like he isn't playing hard.

Nah, that's bullshit and I hate that type of crap clubs try to pull. Scrimmages are great but nothing replicates the actual game environment against opposition where both teams know the game matters more than a scrimmage. I don't want to know what club this is because it's awful that some kids don't even get selected for a game day roster.....this is youth soccer! If this was at the DA or ECNL level I could understand, but as you said it's not. Also the fact that they are playing their youngers getting more game time than the players that are actually in that age group is terrible. I'd leave that club ASAP and find a club to get your kid some playing time come game day.

For players to get better they need to be playing in training, learning from training then practicing what they learned in the game environment. Get your kid out of that club asap. What a shitshow of a club. Apologies for my language as your account of what that club does really pissed me off and is what's wrong with soccer in this area.

Edit: Didn't even read your last comment. If your player is afraid of making mistakes at U14 because he thinks it may get him benched, get him out of that club. Players need to make mistakes to learn, it's the only way and if that is going to jeopardize playing time at U14, that is utterly ridiculous.

Thanks for your honesty. Truth is, most clubs in the DMV value winning above all else. Actually, my son's story is a good one if you ever get to share it to fight for a healthier system. I misstated his age. He's actually a small U15.

We probably won't have to find another club because he wants to quit soccer entirely, even though he's having fun now playing for his school's varsity team. And it sucks, because he's good and he loved it for so long. All of the adult bullshit, club politics, and downright abusive behavior on the part of coaches suffocated his love for the game. And he was one of the kids who got on the rosters and in the games. It should also be a message to parents - when you see coaches and clubs treating OTHER kids like crap, move on, because sooner or later, it might be your kid on the receiving end.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for starting this thread, Coach!

I think you answered my question in your earlier comments, but I want to get your thoughts. I'm a parent of an undersized, technical U14 boy who has played for higher level EDP club that has increasingly bloated rosters. Although my son has been fortunate to be picked to be on the rosters, he comes in off the bench and does not always get that much playing time. Some boys on the team do not get selected for game day rosters at all. Worse still, the club will have its top players from a younger age group play up, so that in a weekend, these boys play for their own team and then start for the older age group as well, while other players get limited playing time or don't even make the roster at all. I can understand if this is a DA club, but it isn't.

The training is good, and the coaches tell parents that training, which includes scrimmages, is more important that playing time in actual games. Do you agree with this? It seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy that the "better" kids keep getting better, and the mid-tier kids fall farther behind when they don't play. For smaller kids who have yet to hit their growth spurts, can team training advance development if there is little playing time in games? In retrospect, I wish he had moved on a year ago because he's so afraid of making mistakes and getting benched that he looks like he isn't playing hard.

Nah, that's bullshit and I hate that type of crap clubs try to pull. Scrimmages are great but nothing replicates the actual game environment against opposition where both teams know the game matters more than a scrimmage. I don't want to know what club this is because it's awful that some kids don't even get selected for a game day roster.....this is youth soccer! If this was at the DA or ECNL level I could understand, but as you said it's not. Also the fact that they are playing their youngers getting more game time than the players that are actually in that age group is terrible. I'd leave that club ASAP and find a club to get your kid some playing time come game day.

For players to get better they need to be playing in training, learning from training then practicing what they learned in the game environment. Get your kid out of that club asap. What a shitshow of a club. Apologies for my language as your account of what that club does really pissed me off and is what's wrong with soccer in this area.

Edit: Didn't even read your last comment. If your player is afraid of making mistakes at U14 because he thinks it may get him benched, get him out of that club. Players need to make mistakes to learn, it's the only way and if that is going to jeopardize playing time at U14, that is utterly ridiculous.

Thanks for starting this thread, Coach!

I think you answered my question in your earlier comments, but I want to get your thoughts. I'm a parent of an undersized, technical U14 boy who has played for higher level EDP club that has increasingly bloated rosters. Although my son has been fortunate to be picked to be on the rosters, he comes in off the bench and does not always get that much playing time. Some boys on the team do not get selected for game day rosters at all. Worse still, the club will have its top players from a younger age group play up, so that in a weekend, these boys play for their own team and then start for the older age group as well, while other players get limited playing time or don't even make the roster at all. I can understand if this is a DA club, but it isn't.

The training is good, and the coaches tell parents that training, which includes scrimmages, is more important that playing time in actual games. Do you agree with this? It seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy that the "better" kids keep getting better, and the mid-tier kids fall farther behind when they don't play. For smaller kids who have yet to hit their growth spurts, can team training advance development if there is little playing time in games? In retrospect, I wish he had moved on a year ago because he's so afraid of making mistakes and getting benched that he looks like he isn't playing hard.

Anonymous wrote:

NOVASoccerCoach wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi coach,

How much physical training should a 14 years old boy be doing each week?

I took my son to two outside coaches for personal evaluation and both coaches said that the boy has the technical skill and soccer IQ to be good at the next level. Both coaches that the boy needs to work on his physical conditioning and get stronger.

The boy is working out with a personal trainer who is a former Olympian in decathlon 2 hours every day five times a week. On weekend, he works on soccer techniques with a private coach from South America. He is not playing soccer on any team this year. He is hoping to get on DA in 2020.

Is that too much training for a 14 years old boy?

TIA

My biggest concern would be that he is not on team this year. You can't replicate the game environment as there's pretty much no way you can work on decision making and speed of play with individual training. If there's a way for him to take out some of that individual training and bring in some actual participation in high-level games I'd say that would be 10x more beneficial.

Thank you coach.

He is currently in boarding school 800 miles away from my wife and I . On weekends, he gets to scrimmage and practice with the local D1 college soccer team because his private coach has a relationship with the school. Will that be enough for him in going for DA in 2020?

Thank you coach.

Depends on the DA he is trying out for....also if that coach he is with is working with him then at this point all you can do is trust that coach and trust your kid that they will work hard and he will have a good tryout for DA.

Anonymous wrote:Hi coach,

How much physical training should a 14 years old boy be doing each week?

I took my son to two outside coaches for personal evaluation and both coaches said that the boy has the technical skill and soccer IQ to be good at the next level. Both coaches that the boy needs to work on his physical conditioning and get stronger.

The boy is working out with a personal trainer who is a former Olympian in decathlon 2 hours every day five times a week. On weekend, he works on soccer techniques with a private coach from South America. He is not playing soccer on any team this year. He is hoping to get on DA in 2020.

Is that too much training for a 14 years old boy?

TIA

How many days a week is he practicing soccer vs training?

NOVASoccerCoach wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi coach,

How much physical training should a 14 years old boy be doing each week?

I took my son to two outside coaches for personal evaluation and both coaches said that the boy has the technical skill and soccer IQ to be good at the next level. Both coaches that the boy needs to work on his physical conditioning and get stronger.

The boy is working out with a personal trainer who is a former Olympian in decathlon 2 hours every day five times a week. On weekend, he works on soccer techniques with a private coach from South America. He is not playing soccer on any team this year. He is hoping to get on DA in 2020.

Is that too much training for a 14 years old boy?

TIA

My biggest concern would be that he is not on team this year. You can't replicate the game environment as there's pretty much no way you can work on decision making and speed of play with individual training. If there's a way for him to take out some of that individual training and bring in some actual participation in high-level games I'd say that would be 10x more beneficial.

Thank you coach.

He is currently in boarding school 800 miles away from my wife and I . On weekends, he gets to scrimmage and practice with the local D1 college soccer team because his private coach has a relationship with the school. Will that be enough for him in going for DA in 2020?

Thank you coach.

Anonymous wrote:Hi coach,

How much physical training should a 14 years old boy be doing each week?

I took my son to two outside coaches for personal evaluation and both coaches said that the boy has the technical skill and soccer IQ to be good at the next level. Both coaches that the boy needs to work on his physical conditioning and get stronger.

The boy is working out with a personal trainer who is a former Olympian in decathlon 2 hours every day five times a week. On weekend, he works on soccer techniques with a private coach from South America. He is not playing soccer on any team this year. He is hoping to get on DA in 2020.

Is that too much training for a 14 years old boy?

TIA

My biggest concern would be that he is not on team this year. You can't replicate the game environment as there's pretty much no way you can work on decision making and speed of play with individual training. If there's a way for him to take out some of that individual training and bring in some actual participation in high-level games I'd say that would be 10x more beneficial.

Hi coach,

How much physical training should a 14 years old boy be doing each week?

I took my son to two outside coaches for personal evaluation and both coaches said that the boy has the technical skill and soccer IQ to be good at the next level. Both coaches that the boy needs to work on his physical conditioning and get stronger.

The boy is working out with a personal trainer who is a former Olympian in decathlon 2 hours every day five times a week. On weekend, he works on soccer techniques with a private coach from South America. He is not playing soccer on any team this year. He is hoping to get on DA in 2020.

Is that too much training for a 14 years old boy?

TIA