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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
No one knows yet... My DH thought he had covered his tracks well, but he was exposed in a way that he could have never predicted.  He was shocked when I confronted him. He lost his marriage, a secure financial future and his relationship with his kids was permanently damaged. [/quote]

You lost all those things too.  Not sure why you are gloating here.[/quote]

I lost a marriage to a cheater, which is really a win for me.  Cheaters present a liability in a marriage - they are loose cannons that can go off at any time.

I did not lose financial stability - I was the higher earner.  I had more savings prior to marriage.  I had greater income potential over time.

I also did not lose my relationship with my kids.  They live with me full time.

It’s not gloating; it’s reality.  Ex thought he could do something without getting caught and without suffering negative consequences.  His calculation was wrong, just like that of many cheaters.  That self-delusion and mistaken calculation of risk is the mentality of a cheater.  I’m just warning the PP who said, “no one knows.” No one knows right now.  Or you think no one knows. Maybe your wife knows and has chosen not to say anything to you right now, preferring to choose a moment that suits her needs. [/quote]

You need to let it go. Your need to keep punishing your Ex and vengeance is obvious and it’s very ugly. I feel for your kids. I have never cheated but suspect DH did or wanted to with a particular person.  And if he did, I hope I could move on gracefully.[/quote]

Puzzled why you think I have not “let it go” and you think I am punishing my Ex?

I am very cordial to him and have bent over backwards to foster his relationship with our kids. Unfortunately the same qualities that make him a cheater also have damaged his relationship with the kids - the focus on appearances and an inability to empathize and basic irresponsibility - and I have no control over his behavior.

As for “letting it go” - I have.  I am the one that ended the relationship and let him go although he begged me not to end things.

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