Reply to Have you cheated on your spouse ?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Man, 45 and yes 3 times. Two ons and one longer term affair. The affair was very eye opening since it shows how unbelievably messy things can get and how you can really end up hurting your AP even though you both went into it declaring it was just sex.

I vowed to never do it again but my marital sex life is infrequent at best. I really don't want to divorce but having an AP is a whole other set of problems[/quote]

How you end up hurting your AP? What about your family?  What about the diseases you potentially exposed your wife to?  You obviously still don’t get it.[/quote]

She fell very hard for me and had a hard time retuning to her marriage.

We were monogamous with each other so no risk of diseases. Family is fine, no one knows[/quote]

No one knows yet... My DH thought he had covered his tracks well, but he was exposed in a way that he could have never predicted.  He was shocked when I confronted him. He lost his marriage, a secure financial future and his relationship with his kids was permanently damaged. [/quote]

You lost all those things too.  Not sure why you are gloating here.[/quote]

I lost a marriage to a cheater, which is really a win for me.  Cheaters present a liability in a marriage - they are loose cannons that can go off at any time.

I did not lose financial stability - I was the higher earner.  I had more savings prior to marriage.  I had greater income potential over time.

I also did not lose my relationship with my kids.  They live with me full time.

It’s not gloating; it’s reality.  Ex thought he could do something without getting caught and without suffering negative consequences.  His calculation was wrong, just like that of many cheaters.  That self-delusion and mistaken calculation of risk is the mentality of a cheater.  I’m just warning the PP who said, “no one knows.” No one knows right now.  Or you think no one knows. Maybe your wife knows and has chosen not to say anything to you right now, preferring to choose a moment that suits her needs. [/quote]

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