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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Trendy things you can buy in the store are nice, but it doesn't make people like you. I know you want to help her to fit in, but it sounds to me like your DD already has the "right stuff" on her own. She doesn't need to have the perfect pair of sneakers to find success.  Being awkward at this age just makes her unique.  Tell her to be herself...say hello to someone new...smile...be confident.  Confidence looks great on everyone.  Kids will see that she is special and want to be her friend for reasons that really matter.[/quote]

Yes from your adult perspective you are correct. But actually from a middle school perspective, yeah the right shoes or clothes can be all it takes. [b]It’s a development stage[/b] and you can’t moralize them out of it. [/quote]
thank you. the number of posters who want to shame 12 year olds for *gasp* acting completely, 100% developmentally normal for their age is so weird to me. [/quote]

The idea that what a parent does or does not do in this scenario having ANY impact on the existence of this very universal tween/teen phenomena is laughable. It's not the buying the "right" thing (water bottle, brand of clothing, shoes, etc.) will make people like them. Their "position" in their little microcosm of social hierarchy is largely already set. It's that NOT having the right thing can add to the feeling of not fitting in, can put a target on their back for ridicule by those who are always in the know about such things. Wouldn't it be lovely if tween/teen girl world didn't work that way? Sure. But it does. OP doesn't have to buy the kid the "cool" things. It won't make her cool. That's not the point. She just doesn't want to feel like she's started out middle school doing EVERYTHING wrong because she didn't get the unwritten memo about what you're "supposed" to have to be "equipped" for middle school survival! And that is exactly how it feels for those kids who just don't run in those circles. Having the right stuff can just take the edge off of an already-insecure time in a girl's development. This isn't new. At all.

Also, to the PP mom who humble-bragged that her atheletic, academically gifted confident daughters don't seem to care what water bottle they have...your daughters are likely the Queen Bee, so they are literally the only ones who don't have to concern themselves with any of this since the "it" water bottle is whatever they are currently carrying. 
And just FYI...this is the same mom whose daughter confidently stands up at the assembly to dismissively say--"Can I just say...we don't have a clique problem at this school...and some of us shouldn't have to take this workshop because we are just victims here?"  :roll:

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