Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trendy things you can buy in the store are nice, but it doesn't make people like you. I know you want to help her to fit in, but it sounds to me like your DD already has the "right stuff" on her own. She doesn't need to have the perfect pair of sneakers to find success. Being awkward at this age just makes her unique. Tell her to be herself...say hello to someone new...smile...be confident. Confidence looks great on everyone. Kids will see that she is special and want to be her friend for reasons that really matter.

Yes from your adult perspective you are correct. But actually from a middle school perspective, yeah the right shoes or clothes can be all it takes. It’s a development stage and you can’t moralize them out of it.

thank you. the number of posters who want to shame 12 year olds for *gasp* acting completely, 100% developmentally normal for their age is so weird to me.

The idea that what a parent does or does not do in this scenario having ANY impact on the existence of this very universal tween/teen phenomena is laughable. It's not the buying the "right" thing (water bottle, brand of clothing, shoes, etc.) will make people like them. Their "position" in their little microcosm of social hierarchy is largely already set. It's that NOT having the right thing can add to the feeling of not fitting in, can put a target on their back for ridicule by those who are always in the know about such things. Wouldn't it be lovely if tween/teen girl world didn't work that way? Sure. But it does. OP doesn't have to buy the kid the "cool" things. It won't make her cool. That's not the point. She just doesn't want to feel like she's started out middle school doing EVERYTHING wrong because she didn't get the unwritten memo about what you're "supposed" to have to be "equipped" for middle school survival! And that is exactly how it feels for those kids who just don't run in those circles. Having the right stuff can just take the edge off of an already-insecure time in a girl's development. This isn't new. At all.

Also, to the PP mom who humble-bragged that her atheletic, academically gifted confident daughters don't seem to care what water bottle they have...your daughters are likely the Queen Bee, so they are literally the only ones who don't have to concern themselves with any of this since the "it" water bottle is whatever they are currently carrying.
And just FYI...this is the same mom whose daughter confidently stands up at the assembly to dismissively say--"Can I just say...we don't have a clique problem at this school...and some of us shouldn't have to take this workshop because we are just victims here?"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why we need school uniforms. So glad my kids are in private, where there is none of this competition of having the cool stuff. The focus is on education.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-former private school kid

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trendy things you can buy in the store are nice, but it doesn't make people like you. I know you want to help her to fit in, but it sounds to me like your DD already has the "right stuff" on her own. She doesn't need to have the perfect pair of sneakers to find success. Being awkward at this age just makes her unique. Tell her to be herself...say hello to someone new...smile...be confident. Confidence looks great on everyone. Kids will see that she is special and want to be her friend for reasons that really matter.

Yes from your adult perspective you are correct. But actually from a middle school perspective, yeah the right shoes or clothes can be all it takes. It’s a development stage and you can’t moralize them out of it.

thank you. the number of posters who want to shame 12 year olds for *gasp* acting completely, 100% developmentally normal for their age is so weird to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is going into 6th grade and she is a socially dominant, "popular" cool kid. She told me that going into 6th grade, she no longer wants any clothes from Justice and would like to shop at the juniors section of target and forever 21. In general, forever 21 has pretty mature clothing for an 11 year old so we stick to the leggings, t shirts, and sweatshirts. She is extremely into hoodies, and prefers them to be oversized. She wears Vans and some vividly colored fashion sneakers. The loves scrunchies and says that you should wear them on your hand like a bracelet. Bike shorts are in style, paired with a t shirt. As a pp noted, Stranger Things is very popular and she wants any ST merch (target has a line of ST merch). She also asks for merch from YouTubers like James Charles. NASA themed clothing is on trend. She hasn't mentioned backpacks. She is an athlete with strong opinions about water bottles and doesn't seem to focus on a single brand.

Omg.

Same reaction.

Are people letting 11 year olds watch Stranger Things? Totally inappropriate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is going into 6th grade and she is a socially dominant, "popular" cool kid. She told me that going into 6th grade, she no longer wants any clothes from Justice and would like to shop at the juniors section of target and forever 21. In general, forever 21 has pretty mature clothing for an 11 year old so we stick to the leggings, t shirts, and sweatshirts. She is extremely into hoodies, and prefers them to be oversized. She wears Vans and some vividly colored fashion sneakers. The loves scrunchies and says that you should wear them on your hand like a bracelet. Bike shorts are in style, paired with a t shirt. As a pp noted, Stranger Things is very popular and she wants any ST merch (target has a line of ST merch). She also asks for merch from YouTubers like James Charles. NASA themed clothing is on trend. She hasn't mentioned backpacks. She is an athlete with strong opinions about water bottles and doesn't seem to focus on a single brand.

Omg.

Anonymous wrote:My DD is going into 6th grade and she is a socially dominant, "popular" cool kid. She told me that going into 6th grade, she no longer wants any clothes from Justice and would like to shop at the juniors section of target and forever 21. In general, forever 21 has pretty mature clothing for an 11 year old so we stick to the leggings, t shirts, and sweatshirts. She is extremely into hoodies, and prefers them to be oversized. She wears Vans and some vividly colored fashion sneakers. The loves scrunchies and says that you should wear them on your hand like a bracelet. Bike shorts are in style, paired with a t shirt. As a pp noted, Stranger Things is very popular and she wants any ST merch (target has a line of ST merch). She also asks for merch from YouTubers like James Charles. NASA themed clothing is on trend. She hasn't mentioned backpacks. She is an athlete with strong opinions about water bottles and doesn't seem to focus on a single brand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is going into 6th grade and she is a socially dominant, "popular" cool kid. She told me that going into 6th grade, she no longer wants any clothes from Justice and would like to shop at the juniors section of target and forever 21. In general, forever 21 has pretty mature clothing for an 11 year old so we stick to the leggings, t shirts, and sweatshirts. She is extremely into hoodies, and prefers them to be oversized. She wears Vans and some vividly colored fashion sneakers. The loves scrunchies and says that you should wear them on your hand like a bracelet. Bike shorts are in style, paired with a t shirt. As a pp noted, Stranger Things is very popular and she wants any ST merch (target has a line of ST merch). She also asks for merch from YouTubers like James Charles. NASA themed clothing is on trend. She hasn't mentioned backpacks. She is an athlete with strong opinions about water bottles and doesn't seem to focus on a single brand.

Omg.

Anonymous wrote:This is why we need school uniforms. So glad my kids are in private, where there is none of this competition of having the cool stuff. The focus is on education.

Anonymous wrote:My DD is going into 6th grade and she is a socially dominant, "popular" cool kid. She told me that going into 6th grade, she no longer wants any clothes from Justice and would like to shop at the juniors section of target and forever 21. In general, forever 21 has pretty mature clothing for an 11 year old so we stick to the leggings, t shirts, and sweatshirts. She is extremely into hoodies, and prefers them to be oversized. She wears Vans and some vividly colored fashion sneakers. The loves scrunchies and says that you should wear them on your hand like a bracelet. Bike shorts are in style, paired with a t shirt. As a pp noted, Stranger Things is very popular and she wants any ST merch (target has a line of ST merch). She also asks for merch from YouTubers like James Charles. NASA themed clothing is on trend. She hasn't mentioned backpacks. She is an athlete with strong opinions about water bottles and doesn't seem to focus on a single brand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trendy things you can buy in the store are nice, but it doesn't make people like you. I know you want to help her to fit in, but it sounds to me like your DD already has the "right stuff" on her own. She doesn't need to have the perfect pair of sneakers to find success. Being awkward at this age just makes her unique. Tell her to be herself...say hello to someone new...smile...be confident. Confidence looks great on everyone. Kids will see that she is special and want to be her friend for reasons that really matter.

Yes from your adult perspective you are correct. But actually from a middle school perspective, yeah the right shoes or clothes can be all it takes. It’s a development stage and you can’t moralize them out of it.

thank you. the number of posters who want to shame 12 year olds for *gasp* acting completely, 100% developmentally normal for their age is so weird to me.

NO ONE is shaming the 12 year olds. We are rightly shaming adult parents who should know better than to give in to this immature way of thinking and reinforce it.

The fact that you don't know the difference is what is so pathetic and sad.