Reply to What do you do to make your house feel like a home for your kids?

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[quote=Anonymous]This is an interesting question OP, and one I think about a lot.  I had a perfectly fine childhood, nothing bad happened at all, but I never liked the home I grew up in, and in fact I always had negative feelings toward it, even now.  I never had any fond memories of the house, or felt nostalgic about it, or wanted to return to it.

When I was growing up as an only child in the 80s, my childhood home never felt like a home.  It always felt like a "house" and I always called it that, never a home.  It was a small ranch-style home.  My parents decorated it how they wanted, in an adult way, with tons of breakables and sculptures everywhere, and it felt like a museum.  There was no sign of my toys or art in the house (toys were only allowed in my room because my parents "didn't want to look at them" as they would always say).  The decor was ultra-modern which always felt cold to me.  Everything was beige.

Most of the furniture/rooms were purple (this was the 80s and that was what was in style).  It was a tiny, starter home, and always felt too cramped for the 3 of us (there were only 2 bedrooms).  I didn't have a play space other than my tiny bedroom (we had a living room/dining room that they could have let me play in but none of us were ever allowed to go in there because it would "mess up the freshly vacuumed carpet."

My house was immaculate at all times, with zero clutter.  Very few knick knacks, more of a cold, sterile feel that I never liked.

Walking into the house there wasn't a warm and welcoming feel.  There was a "take your shoes off right now" and put them on the door mat, and "don't mess anything up" kind of feel.

My mother never made an effort to celebrate any holidays.  We decorated for Halloween, but that was only if I did it, and only on the outside of the house.  My mother disliked any kind of indoor decoratins because they were "clutter."  So the house never felt festive for any holidays.

My mother never wanted me to go outside, she didn't like being outside and didn't want to supervise me, so basically I wasn't allowed to play outside ever.  So I have no positive associations with being a regular kid playing outside, either.

And my parents didn't want pets so even though I was constantly asking for one they never let me have one.  A pet would have made all the difference in turning my cold house into a warm home.  But they never let me have one.

My parents sold the house when I was 25 and retired to Hawaii.  I don't miss that house at all or even think of the house with fond memories.

I'm 40 years old now, with a family of my own, and I have specifically chosen a house, yard, and neighborhood to convey that warm and welcoming feeling.  I spend a lot of time making my home feel warm and welcoming because I never grew up with that and I wanted my house to feel like that now.  I chose a two story house, because I grew up in a ranch and don't like ranches now.  My house is decorated in a country-style, because that's what I find warm and welcoming, with lots of blue and yellow colors, lots of floral patterns, lots of quilts.

I have lots of plants everywhere, toss pillows, throw blankets, baskets, bouquets of flowers, and pine wood.  Lots of kids' art on the walls.  Toys in the family room, neatly organized.

We have multiple pets.

I go overboard in decorating for every holiday, because I never had that, and my kids help decorate.

Everyone who walks into the house tells me what a warm and welcoming vibe it has, and that makes me happy.  Even my kids' friends say that they love the house, which is unusual!

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