Reply to Please help me figure out if I am either the biggest crutch or a total bitch to my adult kids

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Reply to " Please help me figure out if I am either the biggest crutch or a total bitch to my adult kids "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is the OP, must admit it was hard (very) but affirming to read this. I am actually going to show my sons and husband.

It took posting on there to realize how out of whack this is. I had a feeling it was but when you are in the throes of something you just go though the motions. It is going to be a BIG change and one that will take me probably longer than them to get used to.

I guess there is some part of me that loved feeling and being needed, yes to answer someone else I guess I do feel this is but one way I show my love[b]. Even if one comes home late and is eating in the kitchen after we have all eaten I cannot leave him alone in the kitchen as I then "feel bad' he's alone. [/b]Crazy right?

I know everyone is right that I am not doing them a service to allow this kind of dependence. A friend recommended me to a therapist to help with this new transition and I called today to make an appt for next week.. Six degrees of separation soon to start. Thank you everyone for telling me what I needed to hear, as tough as it was to read.[/quote]

The bolded I don't think is crazy. I think the social aspects of eating together are important. I prefer to have a meal together (dinner, anyway. I don't really care about breakfast and lunch). But what does your family think about this? And do you then clean up after them instead of allowing them to clean up after themselves?  Would your son/husband LIKE to have a quite meal with a book? We all like that sometimes![/quote]

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