Anonymous wrote:Has it occurred to you that you completely enabled your sons to the point that they can’t survive on their own - hence two adults now living with you? I’m sorry, but your enabling is kind of pathetic. I agree with the PP who mentioned that they will make horrible husbands and fathers - they will expect the women in their lives to do everything for them. I’m a mother of two young boys and you just highlighted my worst nightmare - raising two boys that can’t take care of themselves or mature appropriately.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DW is pregnant with our first (a boy) and we were just talking about all the chores I had to do as kid. And that I was going to expect the same of my son.

By 10 years old I was:
-Washing, drying, and folding my own laundry
-Mowing the lawn and trimming hedges. I didn't get to use the bladed edger until I was 12 or so.
-Washing and drying my dishes when I ate on my own (we had no dishwasher when I was growing up in the early 90s)
-Taking turns to vacuum and mop floors
-Making my own food when I wasn't eating with the rest of the family

Fortunately, my mom cleaned the bathrooms. Which likely explains my hatred and avoidance of cleaning bathrooms as an adult.

The more you force your kids to do, the more they are capable of handling as adults.

I am just going to keep laughing at your post!

I disagree--this DH has the right idea. You can do all this when they are young. When they grow up doing it, they will continue doing it. The issue with OP is they are grown and have NOT been doing it, so getting them to change will be monumental. Therefore she needs to get them out of her house; they have a chance at changing only out of this environment.

Oh please! We all had some similar idea, putting it into practice is altogether different. Especially in the well off DMV families.

He may have the right idea, but I have a policy of not taking parenting advice from someone whose parenting experience to date is limited to ejaculation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DW is pregnant with our first (a boy) and we were just talking about all the chores I had to do as kid. And that I was going to expect the same of my son.

By 10 years old I was:
-Washing, drying, and folding my own laundry
-Mowing the lawn and trimming hedges. I didn't get to use the bladed edger until I was 12 or so.
-Washing and drying my dishes when I ate on my own (we had no dishwasher when I was growing up in the early 90s)
-Taking turns to vacuum and mop floors
-Making my own food when I wasn't eating with the rest of the family

Fortunately, my mom cleaned the bathrooms. Which likely explains my hatred and avoidance of cleaning bathrooms as an adult.

The more you force your kids to do, the more they are capable of handling as adults.

I am just going to keep laughing at your post!

I disagree--this DH has the right idea. You can do all this when they are young. When they grow up doing it, they will continue doing it. The issue with OP is they are grown and have NOT been doing it, so getting them to change will be monumental. Therefore she needs to get them out of her house; they have a chance at changing only out of this environment.

Oh please! We all had some similar idea, putting it into practice is altogether different. Especially in the well off DMV families.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DW is pregnant with our first (a boy) and we were just talking about all the chores I had to do as kid. And that I was going to expect the same of my son.

By 10 years old I was:
-Washing, drying, and folding my own laundry
-Mowing the lawn and trimming hedges. I didn't get to use the bladed edger until I was 12 or so.
-Washing and drying my dishes when I ate on my own (we had no dishwasher when I was growing up in the early 90s)
-Taking turns to vacuum and mop floors
-Making my own food when I wasn't eating with the rest of the family

Fortunately, my mom cleaned the bathrooms. Which likely explains my hatred and avoidance of cleaning bathrooms as an adult.

The more you force your kids to do, the more they are capable of handling as adults.

I am just going to keep laughing at your post!

I disagree--this DH has the right idea. You can do all this when they are young. When they grow up doing it, they will continue doing it. The issue with OP is they are grown and have NOT been doing it, so getting them to change will be monumental. Therefore she needs to get them out of her house; they have a chance at changing only out of this environment.

Anonymous wrote:This is the OP, must admit it was hard (very) but affirming to read this. I am actually going to show my sons and husband.

It took posting on there to realize how out of whack this is. I had a feeling it was but when you are in the throes of something you just go though the motions. It is going to be a BIG change and one that will take me probably longer than them to get used to.

I guess there is some part of me that loved feeling and being needed, yes to answer someone else I guess I do feel this is but one way I show my love. Even if one comes home late and is eating in the kitchen after we have all eaten I cannot leave him alone in the kitchen as I then "feel bad' he's alone. Crazy right?

I know everyone is right that I am not doing them a service to allow this kind of dependence. A friend recommended me to a therapist to help with this new transition and I called today to make an appt for next week.. Six degrees of separation soon to start. Thank you everyone for telling me what I needed to hear, as tough as it was to read.