Reply to DH angry over childcare situation.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I cant believe, and yet I can, [b]how many people advocating destroying family relationships over the cost of childcare that OP says she can afford. [/b]You think SIL will ever forgive losing her childcare to your child? She won’t. That’s your baby’s aunt and mother of it’s cousins. You think MIL is going to change her spots and grow a spine? She’s not. But she will resent anything that hurts her relationship with  her daughter. [/quote]

We don’t know that SIL can’t childcare.  Is she a single mom?  Does she also have dual income and is her husband’s family in the area?

As for destroying the relationship over childcare, you could argue that the SIL is destroying the relationship by not being fair and allowing her mom to do for her brother what she already did for her.  Its all perspective.  At the end of the day, it really comes down to what the parent (grandma) thinks is fair and what she allows.  Some of my friends have parents that go out of their way to do things equally for their kids or equivalents regardless of “need”.  Other parents factor perceived need into how they do things.   I put need in quotes because sometimes it is bad luck  and other times it’s a tale of the Ant and the Grasshopper.  What does fairness look like if one child is the ant and the other is the grasshopper? Realize you can’t change someone else and the anger over what you cant’t change isn’t productive. For DH and OP - you can just promise you will do better and different with your own kids.
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