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[quote=Anonymous]It had been a while since DCUM made me lose all faith in humanity.  So the quick rundown:

DH suggests a vacation with family friends that have younger children. OP says that seems like a bad idea because the other kids will ruin it.  DH says you are being antisocial because you don't want to bond with our friends.

DCUM: DH is an abusive, adulterous, absentee dad.

Seriously, what the hell is this thread?  The short answer is nobody knows this family.  Could it be a nightmare? Of course. That would be true regardless of the age of the children.  Good friends sometimes make terrible traveling companions.  Sometimes, two families don't blend well on vacation for any number of reasons.  Here are few areas that have cause friction on my vacations:

Budget (even if you agree on accommodations and a general plan of activities, is your friend the type that is obsessed with coupons jumping through six hoops to save $20? Are you?)
Schedule- Are you the type that plans 100 things in a day or the type that doesn't want to think about doing anything until 10:30?
Parenting- (Does it suck to be around them because they are super strict and you feel bad about it?  Or are the kids just little monsters?  Do they do things that make you uncomfortable, like drink more than you think is appropriate with small kids around?)

Regardless, somebody needs therapy.  I don't know how we got to page 6 without someone suggesting full neuropysch screening, probably best to just schedule all them, but only after the divorce, because, after all, I read between the lines to see the abuse and obvious affair.

Here are my list of actual concerns:

-What is the 4 year old like?  I feel like 4 is a really in-between age.  I know some 4 year olds (particularly those with older siblings) that can play happily on the edges of the big kids.  Others seem like 3 year olds with more words.
-What are your kids schedules like?  Because while everyone else is focusing on the horror of being around a pair of toddlers, they are usually down fairly early in the night.  If the toddlers are down at 8, the adults can still have a nice chat/drink/game/movie/whatever.  That's less true if the school age kids are losing their minds in some rowdy game.
-What kind of vacation are you going on?  Is it something like the beach where a lazy flexible schedule is fine or are you going somewhere with a ton of appointments like Disney.
-How feasible is other child care? I haven't really used vacation childcare, but I have family that like cruising and resorts because the kids can be checked into a kids club sort of thing.
-Do you hate toddlers?  I don't meant that in some sort of crazy way; plenty of folks do.  I really like the age, because they crack me up.  The funny stuff they say and do outweighs the random meltdowns for me.  But yeah, they are exhausting and destructive.  I much prefer that to the sullen, listless teenage phase.

^If you have concerns like that, list them rationally to your husband and give him time to solve the problem.  We don't have much of a local family, so I am very grateful for friends that help ease parenting by merging the herds occasionally. And we have had some great beach trips.[/quote]

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