Reply to Making it work when the wife is the one with the "big job"

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Reply to "Making it work when the wife is the one with the "big job" - s/o today's NY Times article"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Differential in free time is your core issue. Quit talking about it in terms of “leaning out” to someone earning in the top 5% of American households by himself.[/quote]

But that doesn't mean he isn't leaning out.  I make about $225k, but it's a lot less than I did and probably than I could.  I have very regular and flexible hours.  If a kid gets sick or something has to be done around the house I can cover it no problem.  I almost never have true stress at work and can almost always put something off until tomorrow.  These things are more important than whether I make $25k or $225k.[/quote]

Apparently your memories of what it was like to make $25k are not vivid.[/quote]

Apparently your reading comprehension skills are lacking.  My post had nothing to do with what it would be like to live on $25k.  The point was that in deciding which person should take over the household responsibilities and mental load it is more important the nature of the person's job (hours, flexibility, stress) than how much someone makes.

For example, there are certain jobs that have very long hours, big stress, and almost no flexibility -- yet are relatively low paid -- such as a medical resident or a law clerk to a federal judge.  Someone in either of these positions may very well make considerably less than their spouse, even if the spouse had more of a 9-5 job.  It would be insane to have the resident/clerk take on more of the family responsibilities because s/he made less, even when their job is far more difficult and leaves less time and energy for outside responsibilities. [/quote]

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