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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think you need to breathe.  Your posts are full of anxiety for the future.  I know it's difficult with a SN child who will need what sounds like life long care.  You're carrying the financial and more importantly the EMOTIONAL burden of this, and it is clearly clouding the way you are responding.  You're stressed and unhappy and anxious.

I would suggest some counseling for yourself, but I have a feeling you'd say you were too busy and it cost too much.  But what you need is someplace to share that emotional burden, because you are drowning right now.  A paid therapist could do some wonders to just give you some clarity and a different perspective.

Maybe there are good things your husband is bringing to the marriage, but you just can't see them right now.  Or maybe you are done with this marriage.

I'd also spend $500 and consult with a lawyer and learn what your options are.  Given his age, do things change if you're still married when he's over 65 and then you decide to divorce?  Given your income inequality, could he seek alimony or child support from you?  Where would his health insurance come from?  What protections exist for you?  Could his threats come to any sort of fruition?  Etc.  DCUM gives notoriously bad, ill-informed advice on division of assets and divorce.  Just having the full picture can help you decide what is best.  Right now you don't know - knowledge gives you power.   A layer might advise you, for example, to keep a record of who is watching your child, or who is spending/buying what to establish a pattern that his emotional outbursts can't match.

Hang in there.  Do a little self care.  Acquire knowledge.  Take back your life.  [/quote]

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