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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op it seems like it’s worth a great deal that he is competent and loving with your SN son.  It’s frankly priceless to your child.  Imagine if you had a workaholic dh who made lots of money but couldn’t handle being around your kid.  Maybe leaning back at work is what allows him to be patient and energetic and fun for your son.

Money isn’t everything. You are so anxious about your son’s future, I know.  But you are fortunate in that many special needs families are not even able to put away what you do on your relatively high salary.

Can you let go of your expectations and disappointment over his monetary contribution go and focus on other things he provides?  Can you find the things in him that made you love him before?  Frankly having two parents together and happy is worth a great deal to your son, don’t assume money is the most important thing.  If thats impossible for you, then focus on building a good support system because single parenting of a SN kid is a very tough road even with joint custody.  [/quote]

This is incredible advice and it’s depressing that it took almost 6 pages for someone to post something along these lines. [/quote]

Well, I think that’s because it’s incredibly unrealistic in this situation. Mom is carrying almost all of the load here, financially, administratively, and emotionally. Dad doesn’t want to pick up more of the burden with the child.  And Dad is 60-something. How long before Dad wants to “retire” and starts to have health issues.

OP, I’d get yourself to a lawyer and financial planner ASAP and figure out what’s best for you and your child financially. I think your SN child comes before Peter Pan. I certainly wouldn’t suggest you let your DH stop working to take on caregiver duties for your child. That seems like a great way for you to end up paying alimony.[/quote]

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