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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "If you cheated and stayed married "
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I didn't read the comments past page one when it went off the rails. I was the one cheated on so I can tell you what I would have liked to have happen to truly save the marriage as I was "all in" and would have stayed. (1) Remorse; (2) Pursuit; (3) Commitment (1) Empathy, remorse, contrite etc. Your wife (assuming you're a man) shouldn't hold it over your head forever. But, you have to try very hard to continue to be emphatic even if you wish she would get past it. I was happy to move on, but my wasband didn't show any remorse for what he did or indication that he wouldn't do it again. (2) Pursue your spouse. Try to establish that connection again by speaking to her love language. Go on dates, write notes and leave them in places she will find them, check in to say hi during the day, do unusual things to show that you want to pursue her. (3) Commitment. Show you are willing to put in the work to make your marriage better. That includes therapy as needed, and work to become a better partner/parent. Commitment can also be towards your family. Think of things that can be done that, in a small way, show your appreciation. Take the kids for ice cream one night so she gets a break. Unload the dishwasher without being asked. Come home early one day to make dinner or anything that is different than the norm. In the end, it takes two people to re-establish that emotional and physical connection, but if you show you are "all in" that will go a long way.[/quote]
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