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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]ONS prior to marriage.  I was at a bad place in my life for a variety of reasons, primarily unemployment that just impacted me in a particularly negative way.  Nothing to do with her, I just couldn't handle life at that point and slowly imploded in a variety of unhealthy ways that culminated in a ONS.

Turns out OW got pregnant...talk about bad luck.  Other than paying CS I am completely no contact with her.  I would completely block her from e-mail but I have to pay my pro rata share of the medical bills.

This happened about ten years ago so I don't remember many of the details about how we got through it.  Obviously, she was very upset and I felt horrible for failing her and myself so badly.  Probably at least once a day I think about how badly I screwed up.  My current financial penance is working a job I don't particularly like but pays enough that the CS does not financially impact us. [/quote]

Focus on being a good father, in addition to paying the child support. A good wife will forgive you, and support you being a good father. [/quote]

He already said he doesn't have any contact with her. She chose to have the child which he probably didn't have a say. His choice is to make a family with his wife. [/quote]

That's messed up...
Dude you ain't got no contact with you kid at all???[/quote]

Why should he? Because of obligation? That won't make a good father. Either be a 100%, or completely get out of the situation.

The worst thing for a child is a guy in and out of their life. Honestly, if my spouse/bf got another woman pregnant I would be out of there. If I were to stay he would have to completely get rid of this woman, kid of not. A sperm donor means nothing. I think when you decide to have a child, and aren't in a relationship you need to accept all the responsibility. His is only financial which he is meeting. 
[/quote]

You need to STFU.  Seriously.
I don't know what your educational background is, I don't know what kind of family environment you grew up in but one thing is painfully obvious and that is despite your brazen claim to know with such certainty what the "worst thing for a child is" you don't know jack shit about the disparate effects that an absent father has on a child.   [/quote]

A "father" is someone that takes a active role in raising the child.

He is not a father. Hopefully the bm is a good mother, and her side of the family are good male role models. [/quote]

You tell that to any number of the hundreds of thousands of kids out here with all kinds of depression and anger management issues stemming from the all too familiar refrain, "I never knew my daddy."
You tell them that they can easily just toss their psychological and emotional issues aside and be happy, confident, successful and content in their lives despite their claims that his absence caused so much trauma because according to your nice and neat definition, technically that guy they never knew isn't a father so they needn't waste any time thinking about him or feeling anything about him.
You tell them that despite mommy telling them what a degenerate irresponsible immoral piece of crap he is the fact that his blood runs thru their veins and the fact that they are partially comprised of his DNA is totally irrelevant.
You tell that to any number of the 8 year-olds acting out in school with absent-daddy issues.
You tell that to any number of the 15 year-olds cutting themselves or turning to drugs with absent-daddy issues.
You tell that to any number of the 30 and 40-something year-olds who are sitting in therapists offices every week to discuss their absent-daddy issues.
You tell them that the man they never knew is not a father and therefore irrelevant so TA-DAAA...problems solved.
 :roll: 
Like I said - you need to STFU.[/quote]

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