Reply to If you cheated and stayed married

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]ONS prior to marriage.  I was at a bad place in my life for a variety of reasons, primarily unemployment that just impacted me in a particularly negative way.  Nothing to do with her, I just couldn't handle life at that point and slowly imploded in a variety of unhealthy ways that culminated in a ONS.

Turns out OW got pregnant...talk about bad luck.  Other than paying CS I am completely no contact with her.  I would completely block her from e-mail but I have to pay my pro rata share of the medical bills.

This happened about ten years ago so I don't remember many of the details about how we got through it.  Obviously, she was very upset and I felt horrible for failing her and myself so badly.  Probably at least once a day I think about how badly I screwed up.  My current financial penance is working a job I don't particularly like but pays enough that the CS does not financially impact us. [/quote]

Focus on being a good father, in addition to paying the child support. A good wife will forgive you, and support you being a good father. [/quote]

He already said he doesn't have any contact with her. She chose to have the child which he probably didn't have a say. His choice is to make a family with his wife. [/quote]

That's messed up...
Dude you ain't got no contact with you kid at all???[/quote]

Why should he? Because of obligation? That won't make a good father. Either be a 100%, or completely get out of the situation.

The worst thing for a child is a guy in and out of their life. Honestly, if my spouse/bf got another woman pregnant I would be out of there. If I were to stay he would have to completely get rid of this woman, kid of not. A sperm donor means nothing. I think when you decide to have a child, and aren't in a relationship you need to accept all the responsibility. His is only financial which he is meeting. 
[/quote]

You need to STFU.  Seriously.
I don't know what your educational background is, I don't know what kind of family environment you grew up in but one thing is painfully obvious and that is despite your brazen claim to know with such certainty what the "worst thing for a child is" you don't know jack shit about the disparate effects that an absent father has on a child.   [/quote]

A "father" is someone that takes a active role in raising the child.

He is not a father. Hopefully the bm is a good mother, and her side of the family are good male role models. [/quote]

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