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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Do you know anyone with one kid who wanted just one kid?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I went into parenting assuming we would have only one child. I always envisioned us as a family of three and found the idea of mother, father, and one child very sweet and special. I still feel this way! When our DS was 2 I got pregnant very unexpectedly (had an IUD) and that pregnancy ended in miscarriage. Instead of relief I felt longing. This could have been hormones or a temporary feeling, but I got pregnant again within a few months and now we have DD. Our family is absolutely complete (vasectomy for DH). Of my friends who had their first babies at the same time as I did, my closest friend also assumed they would have an only and ended up with another. Another friend and her DH were absolutely one and done. They are surprisingly both from big, close, families but are super passionate about their careers, have very busy social lives, and just didn't feel like a big family would fit for them. They continue to be very happy with their one daughter, and [b]they're a very fun, outgoing, busy family[/b].[/quote] This seems to be key for making a one-child family work. From what I've read (I have a sister, so without personal experience as an only, I read up on what only children think of their childhoods) only children seem to be happier when their parents make sure to cultivate social networks and not just cart them to adult events, as though they're a little adult. That seems to help them not feel isolated. Then some only children feel pressure being the only person to take care of their aging parents, but on that count I will say that, watching both my parents deal with very old mothers (their fathers passed away a long time ago) and ridiculously annoying/disruptive siblings, I think whether siblings help during that process is totally a toss-up. [/quote] I actually like knowing that I’m going to be the only one taking care of my parents. Some siblings get along and equally share in taking care of aging parents. But even in those situations, it’s usually one child who takes on more and that can cause resentment. And there are lots of siblings who don’t get along at all. And trying to navigate that plus deal with aging parents. No thank you! It’s all on me (with DH’s support) and I’m good with that. [/quote] +1 I watched my mom deal with my grandmother when she was aging, and her siblings were nearly useless. And I know people whose siblings were worse than useless--not helpful, but critical and interfering. My own sibling will be utterly useless when my parents need help. It's definitely a toss-up as to how helpful it is to have siblings for that, but it likely is in the back of some people's minds and may contribute to the pressure to have more than one. [/quote]
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