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[quote=Anonymous][quote]I never said he wanted to retire. Or that I’d have to go back to work FT, although I was considering it. DH wants some kind of change- either a different career, job, or less hours than he’s putting in now (which ranges from 45-60 a week). I’m positive he’d say he’s perfectly capable of cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, shopping, and taking care of the kids, and he’d say I’m the crazy one with impossible standards that only wants it done a certain way. Except I really don’t. But I’m done beating the dead horse and would rather just do those things myself or IF I go back to work, hire someone else to do it.

Truth be told, nothing catastrophic would happen if DH would take over those areas. We’d have grey, smaller, clothes, a dingy dusty house, but with a lot less stuff because it would all be thrown out, and we will probably get sick a few times (but not die) from his food, and the kids might have less friends and activities but a closer relationship with him. But he’s not the one who is unwilling to take care of these things if needed, I am the one who prefers that he doesn’t. And I really don’t want to argue with him anymore about why towels and sheets need to be laundered more than once a season or why dusting is even a real thing.

And he’s not just going to scale back if we’re not in a financially good place to do it. We also disagree on what that means- in the area of funding retirement. He thinks once the kids are grown, we’ll have half the expenses and will be able to live on $50k a year. He also keeps saying we are better off than the avg American, but I don’t think we should be setting that as our goalpost. We are having a meeting tonight to discuss our financial picture to look at what our options are. This is huge for us. Ive never been able to get him to discuss finances with me without him only dedicating 5% of his attention on the subject or just leaving the conversation after 5 minutes of “uh huh’s“. [/quote]

Meeting with a financial planner sounds like headway.

On the rest of the home stuff, I'd be frustrated. He has no idea what he's talking about but thinks he knows it all.  What is that called again?

Also, "once the kids are grown" - you both need to think about what that means.  For us, it means, once our kids both have a 4 year college education. Even then, I wouldn't be shocked to have one or both return home for some period of time and to possibly need financial support in the way of helping with a car, car insurance, health insurance. YMMV.[/quote]

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