Reply to Help me survive spring break with my overbearing in-laws!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm an introvert who needs some alone time on family vacations and holidays in order to be my best. My husband and I work out a loose schedule for every day so that we both get breaks.

That being said, I recognize when I'm on a paid-for family vacation that I need to give as much of myself as I can. I definitely get and take my breaks. But sometimes, I push through an extra half-hour of talking with my ILs after my kids go to bed. Sometimes, I'll set a goal for myself of an extra 30 minutes, and find at the 20-minute mark that I'm actually enjoying myself. Not always, but that's life. :)

Anyway, if you want a true vacation-vacation doing everything you want to do the way you want to do it, decline these family invitations, or just send your husband and your kids. But if you accept hospitality--even if you are agreeing to do so because you feel you have to for your spouse's sake--you need to be as pleasant and engaged as possible. That's just good manners. [/quote]

This poster hits on an important point. There is always the option to say no. Over the years we have modified the way we interact with our families. There had been several vacations that were about inlaws from wake up to sleep. And if anyone tried to diverge they made it very uncomfortable and complained. We calmly discussed it with them, maintained boundaries, tried again (!) several times, all the while keeping communication lines open and being respectful.

Bottom line is that they did not feel our opinions or approaches held the same amount of weight as theirs. They felt it was not for them to compromise.

We do not vacation with them any more though we see them at other times.[/quote]

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