Reply to what does it feel like to want to have kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Having kids is a pain in the butt. DH and I avoided having one for 12 years  - through 6 years of dating and  6 years of marriage.  Then suddenly there came an ache so deep to have a baby of our own that it caught us by surprise.  When we decided to have a kid and got pregnant (within 2 months after ditching BC) my DH could not even wait for the 9 months.  He wanted the baby NOW. To wait for the 40 weeks was a torture for both of us.

The second one was easier because we knew we wanted to relive the experience that we were having with the firstborn but also we wanted our firstborn to have siblings.  The pregnancy flew by and I used to feel the happiness swirling and rising inside of me  like actual champagne bubbles.  The moment my second was born and I looked at my DH and both my kids in the hospital room I felt a great sense of relief - as if my family was complete and home at long last.  [/quote]

Question- you and your husband both were more or less okay with not really having kids and then BOTH wanted one at the same time? Did one of you wanting the kid then ignite that want in the other? [/quote]

I think the examples of our friends who had kids were mostly negative in our minds. Our friends who had kids became super obsessed with kids and we could hardly talk to them because we were always being interrupted by their kids. However, our best friends were super cool people who became pregnant and still remained super cool in our eyes.  We got to see first hand how having kids did not have to completely suck out all happiness. Their daughter was hanging out with us from birth to 3 years old and she was a fun easy baby (in front of us).  I still remember when it happened for us.

They had come to our house to hang out with us. The husband and DH decided to go out and get chinese take out. Their utterly adorable daughter was bent on her coloring book with a crayon in her hand, the wife and I were sipping wine.  Suddenly, the daughter yelled "Daddy, STOP!" and ran to him, hugged his leg and said "I love you, Daddy" and ran back to her coloring book. It was a picture perfect childhood Hallmark moment to us and since we had no idea how much of a PITA she may have been to her parents, this was the "We got to get one little human like her for us" kind of moment. We were pregnant within months of that.

I think I always liked the concept of having babies and I was very good with my own nieces and nephews. I also wanted DH to be not only fully on board but actively want one. He always said that he wanted a baby one day, but he never said he was ready for a baby.  I was sure in my mind that I will never have a baby until a man can appreciate and be thankful for what I will sacrifice physically to carry a baby.   :lol: In other words, he better treat me like the Earth Mother for creating a family for him. That was me in my 20s. I had my DD when I was 32. We were ready.  I ended up becoming the granola mom I used to laugh about![/quote]

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