Reply to Issue with blended family

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Issue with blended family "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So, you were their father’s co-worker or your husband was and you or both of you used to be invited over to birthday parties / events. At some point, you started having an affair with the dad. Mom found out, they got divorced. Within a year, the two of you have remarried. You wanted the step kids to move schools, give up on their activities, not tell their side of the story to your kids, and see the dad when all of you are together. The only reason that this did not register on your kids’ radar is that they are younger, but they will grow up and either their half siblings will tell them or they will put 2+2 together and realize what happened. You can’t change that. Agree with all of the above, tone down your selfishness and egocentrism though highly doubt that you are able to do that.[/quote]

Reread this OP.

Not the PP that wrote it but you really need to be able to see this from their perspectives and I don't think you have that ability. It was YOUR choice to sleep with a married man and then marry him and bring him and his kids in the daily lives of your kids. This isn't about his kids at all and you better figure that out before your resentment towards them and their mom grows. It is completely misplaced. You haven't owned at all the impact of your actions on your kids. I don't know if you were married or divorced when you had the affair but your kids are likely too little to get the nuances. His kids aren't. And while kids don't need to know information about adult sex lives- you can see here why the affair was about so much more than sex. It devastated and caused emotional distress to their mother and led to the break up of the family. Tweens are going to be pulled into that emotion and will feel their own heartbreak. The mother can't be expected to shoulder responsibility for the family breakdown - she was a victim in this.  They likely have already long figured out that you two had an affair and that their dad is why their home and family are now split up. In addition, you likely have been there all along since you were involved before the divorce so they had to adjust to all of that with you already in the picture - wanting them to be step siblings and step children while their worlds are still in chaos. And on top of that you give the message you need every other week alone with their dad but they get almost zero time alone with him and what they do have at activities you want to take away from them?

I truly hope your kids have a great dad and your DHs kids have a great mom because they certainly got the shitty end of the bargain when it comes to you and DH as parents. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics