Reply to Stepparents, how much money have you spent on/do you spend on your spouse's children?

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Reply to "Stepparents, how much money have you spent on/do you spend on your spouse's children?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I hate that if you aren’t completely bonded with your step child you’re considered an awful person.

My SS bio mom actually thanked me for never crossing the line and trying to be his “mom”

We don’t have custody, so his bio mom is actively in his life. He knows I’m a trusted adult he can depend on, but his mom is his mom. I’ve been in his life since he was in elem school (he’s not in Hs) and this is how it’s always been. I never wanted to make him feel uncomfortable by forcing affection, or disrespect his mom.

I think it all depends on the custody arrangements and age of SC. [/quote]

Sad that you think being completely bonded with a SC requires you to cross that line. [/quote]

Who is this Pollyanna? In most cases, stepkids dont see you as a parental figure. Just their parent's spouse. They dont need another mom or dad.[/quote]
I think a lot of that is dependent on how old the SC were when the marriage occurred. My stepmother and father got married when I was 4, and she was absolutely a “parental” figure in my life. Still treated me and my sister like we were my dad’s baggage—and they only saw us every other weekend![/quote]

Dad was probably paying child support which is a huge factor in things as he is paying for you, but Mom then takes the credit for buying everything even if it is Dad's money.  Its very hard to feel any attachment to kids who you see 4 days a month.  That was the typical and often is the typical visitation schedule so after so long, if a Dad is not parenting daily, you lose that bond of parenting and its is more like an uncle or visitor in your house.  (which is shy the every other weekend is very bad for kids and their parents)[/quote]

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