Reply to Please help- my DH lost his job again and I’m thinking of leaving him

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Reply to "Please help- my DH lost his job again and I’m thinking of leaving him"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Financial instability can certainly wreck a marriage, but I'm not sure the person who doesn't work at all has the right to look down on the person who keeps getting jobs but then losing them.  Why not get a career now, and let him stay home with the kids?  If you love him and the kids love him and you're going to end up getting a job anyway, why blow up the marriage as well?[/quote]

Maybe she doesn't want to let him be a stay at home dad who drinks heavily. Kind of a downer to spend your working day wondering if daddy plowed the car into a tree with the kids in it, or passed out drunk on the couch while the toddler discovered how matches work, or just made another poor but less life-threatening choice.

You clearly missed the biggest red flag in her post, PP. And you did it while dripping your condescending scorn on her for being a lazy ol' SAHM.

To OP:

Did you ever consider that DH doesn't hold jobs because of his drinking? Your post sounds as if you don't link the two things. But there's one big picture here and job loss is just one part of it. If you think, oh, but he doesn't drink at work or even doesn't drink on weekdays--you need to learn fast. People who drink heavily (your own term, "heavy") have plenty of other issues that will manifest at work, in relationships, eventually with your kids. You once wanted to be with him enough to marry him. Have you told him you are thinking of leaving? Told him you believe he's an alcoholic and said that treatment is non-negotiable? If you aren't telling him all this bluntly, you need to. Moving to your parents' could give him the shock he needs. But have you first told him how serious you are about ending things?

Would your parents be equally willing to help you by caring for the kids while you get a job but without your moving in with them, if he will get to rehab, AA and therapy? Or will they only have your back if you leave him? [/quote]

You're projecting all over the place.  Her post was about him not bringing in money.  The title, the bulk of the post, and even all the follow-up.  She mentioned him drinking as an aside, you just want him to be a danger to his family (which she never says or even implies, although she's been back several times) because it justifies the OP's position that she should be allowed to kidnap her kids if he's not bringing home checks.[/quote]

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