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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP--How are you defining amicable? My actual divorce process was fine. We were both very fair and mature as we divided up custody and our finances. We have never fought since he moved out. We cohost the kid's birthday parties and are cordial to each other at events. I work really hard to never say negative things about him to the kids. I will always work really hard to make sure my kids aren't torn between us (including tempering expectations for visits/holidays when they are adults.) Compared to what many of my friends endure with their exes, our divorce is very easy.

But it wasn't amicable in that it wasn't what I wanted. He completely betrayed my trust and our marriage. He pisses me off on a semi-regular basis with his ongoing selfishness and thoughtlessness.  Even though we're both mature about it, it was still traumatic and painful for me and it was really hard on  our kids. [/quote]

This is me too.  We get along and things were divided fairly but overall nothing about this is what I wanted.  He's selfish and mostly a good dad upon convenience.  ANd I have to suck it up and not say negative things.

One thing I don't get about these "amicable divorces" is if you get along so well why are you divorces?[/quote]

OP here: I want to be amicable for the kids. I think we can do it. We are good roommates. I want a divorce because I was not sure about getting married, did it anyway, was miserable immediately, gave it more time to improve, but got accidentally pregnant right before I admitted to my parents I was going to tell him I wanted to leave. That was almost 10 years ago. I am still miserable in the marriage. You can "get along" on the surface in a marriage but have it be utterly empty, loveless, and sexless for many, many reasons. That's why. I think I have given it long enough. It is pretty clear that I don't want to grow any older with this person, so why waste more years? If divorce is inevitable, might as well end it and get on with our lives--finally--because the marriage never should have happened. Should have listened to my gut. I have been paying the price ever since.[/quote]

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