Reply to Should my sibling inherit equally after no years of contact/eldercare?

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Reply to "Should my sibling inherit equally after no years of contact/eldercare?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the mother should pay the care-giving sister a modest stipend, and then split the estate 50/50.

I say this from experience, only that I am the "less helpful" sister. (Don't get me wrong, I still do plenty, but my sister does more due to my slight disability that makes lifting hard for me. So sis takes Mom to the doctors and on errands, as it involves assisting her from the wheelchair to the car and such.)

I suggested to Mom that she pay sis, and at first Mom was reluctant. She kept saying it should be 50/50, but I said I was fine with it - and in fact it made me more comfortable since my sister is devoting more time. But I insisted, and so she did. I would rather my sister have a bit more money to avoid any resentment she might otherwise feel (although I didn't detect any).

So, my advice is to pay a minimal stipend to the caregiver.[/quote]

I agree.  I have seen a family situation where the favored child moved the elderly parent in with them, and then stole money from the elderly parent, and claimed "there was no money".  Turns out, there was a substantial (about $100k, which is a lot to some people) life insurance policy, that the abusive sibling took out on the elderly parent, paid for with the elderly parent's own money. In addition, the elderly parent was forced to write a check (about $36k) upon "moving in" with the sibling, and the elderly parent had at least $100k in savings/simple investments - so that is almost a quarter million dollars.  In addition, the elderly parent had bought the sibling the large house that the elderly parent moved into, about ten years later.  Meanwhile the abusive sibling also siphoned money from the elderly parent regularly, on top of getting major gifts like new top end appliances throughout the house, and new high end his and hers racing bikes. The abusive sibling collected a "fee", and also collected "rent" from the parent, while the parent cooked and cleaned and picked up after four dogs that are NOT at all house trained.  Disgusting.

Point being, people really take advantage of the situation, if they are that type of person - I owed hope it is not common.  Most people do not stoop that low.   OP, as long as it is not that type of situation, I agree with this PP. [/quote]

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