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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. SIL is 28 years old and single. She is coddled like she is 16 and acts like she is 14. It is so obnoxious. BTW NO ONE in the family tells her to knock it off, including my DH who thinks its not worth the drama as she will react badly and throw a fit. He generally ignores her but I have told him that I am not ok with being treated with disrespect. As such my DH was trying to be nice to me since she had started to pick on me. [/quote]

OP you see these people 2-3 times a year. It is none of your business how the family deals with their bad egg. You have a person who by your own account treats basically everyone terribly but you want your DH to start a big kurfuffle during a family holiday because you specifically won't tolerate being party to the disrespect. Just don't go to Thanksgiving next time, go to your own folks.

Family dynamics occasionally mean sucking it up. I would say that a rare family gathering with a DH that apparently does have your back is exactly the time to suck it up. As other PP's have pointed out. Someone cooked that meal. Someone spent all day planning and executing. And you and your DH and SIL turned it into all-about-you. You could have quietly gotten up, helped FIL serve and every time SIL made a comment, either ignored or pivoted. And the showmanship of you serving every plate after SIL got hers and then your DH gallantly stepping up, ushering you to your seat and serving you is really over the top. Your SIL appears to suck. You will likely never know the source of her animosity. Maybe her brother was always favored and she resents him and his happiness. Maybe she is depressed that she is single and 28. Maybe she is a bitter mean nasty person for no reason. But the bottom line is that this is her personality. She treated her own dad just as badly as she treated you. So certainly nothing you say or do will ever change her. But you're the only one that engaged in a tit for tat about it.[/quote]

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