Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL and SIL have disliked me since the day my DH brought me home. Over the years we have had a lot of drama with the MIL but after repeated confrontations and talks, she seems to have toned it down. She treats me politely but coldly and that is fine with me. She KNOWS her treatment of me is not cool and when she says acts crazy again, we all know its on her, not me or my DH.

My SIL has never liked me and goes out of her way to treat me as a stranger. She is passive aggressive and MEAN.

Over the years I have been busy focusing on MIL so I have generally brushed her behavior aside but at a recent thanksgiving her meanness come up front and center and has been on my mind.

Example:

FIL is getting up there and had some trouble serving our plates at dinner. He was having difficulty giving SIL the right about of stuffing, she gets annoyed, yells at him gets up and serves her own plate with a huff and sits back down. I look at FIL and felt bad he was struggling so I gently ask him if he needs help. He says yes thank you. I stand up and start serving everyone's dinner, filling every plate passed to me and adjusting according to their preferences. This seems to make SIL mad for some reason. She visibly recoils. Then she starts mean commentary, " guys! look at Larla! What is she doing?! She is giving everyone tiny portions! we need to eat!" I am too busy serving to comment and let it slide. Then, " OMG guys lets all give Larla tips for serving us! hahah!"

I give mu husband an angry "wtf" look. He looks at me back and says, "Laria is doing a wonderful job. Thank you honey!"

Then when its my plate, DH gets out of his seat and says, "you shouldn't have to serve yourself. Let me get yours." I say thanks, kiss him, and sit down.

SIL freaks out. "What??!! That is not fair! I had to get my own plate! Why do you have to serve Larla's?!"

"My husband ignores her and casually mutters, "she's my wife."

I look at SIL and say gently, "Britney you should be proud your brother is being a good husband."

She then visibly recoils, mutters something under her breath and gives me the most icy angry stare and then a fake plastic exaggerated smile"

I'm so shocked at it Im left staring at the obvious display of hatred. Out of the blue!

I am utterly confused. She always does things like this, criticize me, call me out, make fun of me. I have no idea what is going on? What is her deal? How do I deal?

Your SIL is an insufferable jerk and there's no way you can change her. Give up on that. OTOH, this was a hostile statement and it would have pissed me off, too. Disengage from your SIL. She's a lost cause. But don't play these kinds of passive aggressive games in response to your SIL's aggression.

Yes it was. But it was deserved. And if you were pissed about that, I could live with that.

Bullies and jerks need to have their behavior called on. She can stew in her own juices and be as pissed as she wants.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. She ALWAYS does things like this. Usually we ignore her and pay her no heed. However sometimes we can't help but respond.

This is as much BS as your "you should be proud....." comment. Of course, you can 'help' responding. You choose not to and, thereby, escalate and prolong the drama.

And, who the hell dishes out food to everyone? What's up with that?

Exactly. I agree with the PP who said that a family holiday with someone you see only a few times a year is precisely the time to suck it up. You don't need to stand up for yourself, you don't need to engage in tit-for-tat, you don't need your husband to "support" you. Just ignore it. Don't feed the drama. Focus on the family members you do get along with. Your SIL is obnoxious, you're not going to change that, and it doesn't matter. Let it go.

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. She ALWAYS does things like this. Usually we ignore her and pay her no heed. However sometimes we can't help but respond.

This is as much BS as your "you should be proud....." comment. Of course, you can 'help' responding. You choose not to and, thereby, escalate and prolong the drama.

And, who the hell dishes out food to everyone? What's up with that?

OP here. She ALWAYS does things like this. Usually we ignore her and pay her no heed. However sometimes we can't help but respond.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. SIL is 28 years old and single. She is coddled like she is 16 and acts like she is 14. It is so obnoxious. BTW NO ONE in the family tells her to knock it off, including my DH who thinks its not worth the drama as she will react badly and throw a fit. He generally ignores her but I have told him that I am not ok with being treated with disrespect. As such my DH was trying to be nice to me since she had started to pick on me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL and SIL have disliked me since the day my DH brought me home. Over the years we have had a lot of drama with the MIL but after repeated confrontations and talks, she seems to have toned it down. She treats me politely but coldly and that is fine with me. She KNOWS her treatment of me is not cool and when she says acts crazy again, we all know its on her, not me or my DH.

My SIL has never liked me and goes out of her way to treat me as a stranger. She is passive aggressive and MEAN.

Over the years I have been busy focusing on MIL so I have generally brushed her behavior aside but at a recent thanksgiving her meanness come up front and center and has been on my mind.

Example:

FIL is getting up there and had some trouble serving our plates at dinner. He was having difficulty giving SIL the right about of stuffing, she gets annoyed, yells at him gets up and serves her own plate with a huff and sits back down. I look at FIL and felt bad he was struggling so I gently ask him if he needs help. He says yes thank you. I stand up and start serving everyone's dinner, filling every plate passed to me and adjusting according to their preferences. This seems to make SIL mad for some reason. She visibly recoils. Then she starts mean commentary, " guys! look at Larla! What is she doing?! She is giving everyone tiny portions! we need to eat!" I am too busy serving to comment and let it slide. Then, " OMG guys lets all give Larla tips for serving us! hahah!"

I give mu husband an angry "wtf" look. He looks at me back and says, "Laria is doing a wonderful job. Thank you honey!"

Then when its my plate, DH gets out of his seat and says, "you shouldn't have to serve yourself. Let me get yours." I say thanks, kiss him, and sit down.

SIL freaks out. "What??!! That is not fair! I had to get my own plate! Why do you have to serve Larla's?!"

"My husband ignores her and casually mutters, "she's my wife."

I look at SIL and say gently, "Britney you should be proud your brother is being a good husband."

She then visibly recoils, mutters something under her breath and gives me the most icy angry stare and then a fake plastic exaggerated smile"

I'm so shocked at it Im left staring at the obvious display of hatred. Out of the blue!

I am utterly confused. She always does things like this, criticize me, call me out, make fun of me. I have no idea what is going on? What is her deal? How do I deal?

Your SIL is an insufferable jerk and there's no way you can change her. Give up on that. OTOH, this was a hostile statement and it would have pissed me off, too. Disengage from your SIL. She's a lost cause. But don't play these kinds of passive aggressive games in response to your SIL's aggression.

Yes it was. But it was deserved. And if you were pissed about that, I could live with that.

Bullies and jerks need to have their behavior called on. She can stew in her own juices and be as pissed as she wants.

WTF? And SIL's behavior was not hostile towards the OP???

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL and SIL have disliked me since the day my DH brought me home. Over the years we have had a lot of drama with the MIL but after repeated confrontations and talks, she seems to have toned it down. She treats me politely but coldly and that is fine with me. She KNOWS her treatment of me is not cool and when she says acts crazy again, we all know its on her, not me or my DH.

My SIL has never liked me and goes out of her way to treat me as a stranger. She is passive aggressive and MEAN.

Over the years I have been busy focusing on MIL so I have generally brushed her behavior aside but at a recent thanksgiving her meanness come up front and center and has been on my mind.

Example:

FIL is getting up there and had some trouble serving our plates at dinner. He was having difficulty giving SIL the right about of stuffing, she gets annoyed, yells at him gets up and serves her own plate with a huff and sits back down. I look at FIL and felt bad he was struggling so I gently ask him if he needs help. He says yes thank you. I stand up and start serving everyone's dinner, filling every plate passed to me and adjusting according to their preferences. This seems to make SIL mad for some reason. She visibly recoils. Then she starts mean commentary, " guys! look at Larla! What is she doing?! She is giving everyone tiny portions! we need to eat!" I am too busy serving to comment and let it slide. Then, " OMG guys lets all give Larla tips for serving us! hahah!"

I give mu husband an angry "wtf" look. He looks at me back and says, "Laria is doing a wonderful job. Thank you honey!"

Then when its my plate, DH gets out of his seat and says, "you shouldn't have to serve yourself. Let me get yours." I say thanks, kiss him, and sit down.

SIL freaks out. "What??!! That is not fair! I had to get my own plate! Why do you have to serve Larla's?!"

"My husband ignores her and casually mutters, "she's my wife."

I look at SIL and say gently, "Britney you should be proud your brother is being a good husband."

She then visibly recoils, mutters something under her breath and gives me the most icy angry stare and then a fake plastic exaggerated smile"

I'm so shocked at it Im left staring at the obvious display of hatred. Out of the blue!

I am utterly confused. She always does things like this, criticize me, call me out, make fun of me. I have no idea what is going on? What is her deal? How do I deal?

Your SIL is an insufferable jerk and there's no way you can change her. Give up on that. OTOH, this was a hostile statement and it would have pissed me off, too. Disengage from your SIL. She's a lost cause. But don't play these kinds of passive aggressive games in response to your SIL's aggression.

Yes it was. But it was deserved. And if you were pissed about that, I could live with that.

Bullies and jerks need to have their behavior called on. She can stew in her own juices and be as pissed as she wants.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL and SIL have disliked me since the day my DH brought me home. Over the years we have had a lot of drama with the MIL but after repeated confrontations and talks, she seems to have toned it down. She treats me politely but coldly and that is fine with me. She KNOWS her treatment of me is not cool and when she says acts crazy again, we all know its on her, not me or my DH.

My SIL has never liked me and goes out of her way to treat me as a stranger. She is passive aggressive and MEAN.

Over the years I have been busy focusing on MIL so I have generally brushed her behavior aside but at a recent thanksgiving her meanness come up front and center and has been on my mind.

Example:

FIL is getting up there and had some trouble serving our plates at dinner. He was having difficulty giving SIL the right about of stuffing, she gets annoyed, yells at him gets up and serves her own plate with a huff and sits back down. I look at FIL and felt bad he was struggling so I gently ask him if he needs help. He says yes thank you. I stand up and start serving everyone's dinner, filling every plate passed to me and adjusting according to their preferences. This seems to make SIL mad for some reason. She visibly recoils. Then she starts mean commentary, " guys! look at Larla! What is she doing?! She is giving everyone tiny portions! we need to eat!" I am too busy serving to comment and let it slide. Then, " OMG guys lets all give Larla tips for serving us! hahah!"

I give mu husband an angry "wtf" look. He looks at me back and says, "Laria is doing a wonderful job. Thank you honey!"

Then when its my plate, DH gets out of his seat and says, "you shouldn't have to serve yourself. Let me get yours." I say thanks, kiss him, and sit down.

SIL freaks out. "What??!! That is not fair! I had to get my own plate! Why do you have to serve Larla's?!"

"My husband ignores her and casually mutters, "she's my wife."

I look at SIL and say gently, "Britney you should be proud your brother is being a good husband."

She then visibly recoils, mutters something under her breath and gives me the most icy angry stare and then a fake plastic exaggerated smile"

I'm so shocked at it Im left staring at the obvious display of hatred. Out of the blue!

I am utterly confused. She always does things like this, criticize me, call me out, make fun of me. I have no idea what is going on? What is her deal? How do I deal?

Your SIL is an insufferable jerk and there's no way you can change her. Give up on that. OTOH, this was a hostile statement and it would have pissed me off, too. Disengage from your SIL. She's a lost cause. But don't play these kinds of passive aggressive games in response to your SIL's aggression.

Anonymous wrote:Op is not to blame for her SIL's outrageous behavior. Op is only responsible for the ooey gooey lovey dovey talk between herself and her husband. She and her dh were poking the crazy lady with their comments. That wasn't right of them.