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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]this makes me sad. I want to adopt but one of my biggest fears is my "baby" leaving me for the bio family [/quote]

Then you should not adopt.  Period. [b] An adoptee’s bio family is her family.  Her first mother IS her mother. [/b] She may have brothers and sisters.  You would be her adoptive mom and if you do it right, you are her famiky, too, but you NEVER negate the existence of her first family.  And just as we all have some family that we are closer to, some family we “click” with, and some family we don’t, an adopted child may choose to spend more time with her first family than yours someday.  That is okay.  If you are open and accepting of the reality of your child’s first family, all the better for all of you.  But if you can only be happy raising an adopted child by erasing her first family, do NOT adopt.  You are what anti-adoption blogs are made of.[/quote]

Adoptee here, and you need to stop generalizing.  My biological mother is NOT my mother.  My biological family is NOT my family, first or otherwise.  My mother is the woman who raised me.  My family are the people who loved me.  Period.

Other adoptees may feel differently, which is fine--we all have different experiences.  It just drives me nuts when people generalize.  [/quote]

Whoa, way to erase the woman who gestated you for 9 months. I get it, you love your mom. She raised you well but apparently not with empathy, because you did indeed have a first mother who very likely loved you as well. [/quote]

There is no such thing as a first mother, especially when most birth mom's don't parent their child.  My child was with his birth mom less than 18 hours until they were discharged from the hospital and that is only because they refused to tell the hospital it was an adoption.

You can have empathy and love for your birthmom/parents but its very different relationships.  Your birth mom is not there every day when you are sick, putting you to bed, taking you to the doctor, taking you to school/activities, and providing in every way possible.  [/quote]

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