Reply to How do you know a man will be violent?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I hear about these stories where wives or girlfriends are killed or hurt by their husbands/boyfriends I always wonder how do they end up in these situations?

Do the men just snap? Or is there a pattern or signs one should be aware of?

[/quote]

One of the things that was common to all 3 cases, Scott Peterson who killed his pregnant wife, Drew Peterson who killed a couple of wives and this latest case in Denver is that all 3 men were cheaters.  So [b]don’t date men who cheat.[/b]  Scott Peterson’s mistress at the time of his wife’s murder had no idea that he was married.  
[/quote]

Again, the advice given to women to avoid abuse is ridiculous.  Yes, if you know a guy has cheated, don't date him, but your typical woman has no idea that the man she is dating will cheat on her.  If you had asked me to predict whether my now exDH would cheat on me, that would have been the last thing I would ever have thought.

Many people think that women have some kind of Cassandra-like powers to predict the future -- he said a critical thing to me, therefore he will hit me or I can divine that he will cheat on me.  That may be true in some situations, but in the vast majority of abuse and cheating cases, there were no signs.

Once I saw the signs, I started tracking my then DH like a detective, and what I found out was extremely disturbing, but I never would have found it all out if I hadn't gone to the very unusual step of tracking his moves in the real world and online.  [/quote]

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