Reply to DH is going to blow a gasket. Give me strength.

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I posted earlier. I understand the backpeddling and wanting to paint a fuller picture. But its still really unhealthy that you are scared to bring things up and that there was a point in your relationship that you considered breaking up but you did not because you were worried about his reaction.

I will only leave you with two suggestions.

1) get some counseling to figure out how to best handle this situation and how you may or may not be contributing to conflict (not your fault, but is there a better way?)

2) If you think your DH has ADHD and has a tendency to blow up when he feels defensive (blamed) then writing a long letter out will not do anythying. It may help YOU feel better, but trust me, in similar situtations DH just never responded, or couldn't really read it. And it contributed to the ongoing failure for us to work through our issues productively. So, dont give him a letter. It is unlikely to produce what you want it to.

Instead, I suggest setting up a session with a marriage counselor. Frame it as "finding a better way to communicate during this tough time." Then in the session, you laoy out the issues, using a lot of "I" language. Go from there. a good marriage counselor will want to see each of you individually once or twice where you can vent more freely.

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